Hey everyone!
Firstly, let me apologize for having taken so long to update this blog even a little bit.
I have doubted myself into inaction.
Between the terror of the magnitude of this trip and my natural distaste in asking for money for even a bite to eat, I have not been nearly as proactive in my support raising process as I ought be. That lack of effort translated into a distinct fear that I would not be on this trip. At the beginning of this week, the week of our first deadline, I was succumbing to the sadness that would come with not meeting my deadline, not getting to be part of Z squad (Oh right, my squad is Z squad, Z BEST SQUAD, be jealous), and ultimately having to wait at least 6 months before I got to do what I am pretty sure God wants me to be doing.
Doubt is a funny thing, it is not from God. It is something that we manufacture for ourselves, with a little help from a pretty deceptive guy who tries his best to hurt us. I sincerely regret the doubt I've had the past few weeks, but God seems to be taking the steps to show me that it is entirely unfounded.
But get this: I hit a moment of pure resignation, I was ready to throw in the towel on this route and start focusing on June. But the funny thing is, when I signed up for this trip, I felt like it was THIS trip. Not a June trip. If it were June that God wanted me to be on, why wouldn't He have compelled me to sign up for that one? Even when I doubted just that much, He pulled through to show me what He wanted for me.
11 countries, 11 months. With His help and yours, this will be life for me. Living out of a backpack for a year…
P.S. I won't likely be the Racer to flood my blog with Bible verses. Know that this isn't because it is not impacting me in a huge way, but what verses I share here will be very poignant to situations I have, or I'll just really feel the need to share them. I just won't be bombarding this blog with enough to make it a Bible study in itself :).
Praising the Lord for His provision and showing what He wants for me…
Matt "M@" Starks
