James writes, “Consider
it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you
know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must
finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
And Paul in Romans writes, “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we
also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint
us, because God poured out his love into out hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he
has given us.”
You may be wondering why I haven’t written anything in the
last 2 weeks or so, and I’ll share why: When I stepped off the plane in Iquitos
my ear hadn’t popped from the flight. We headed out to another large town
called Nauta to spend 10 days doing ministry there. We lived on a barge for the
duration of our time and went into the town to do our ministry. I didn’t think
too much of it and figured it would pop soon enough, so I let it go. The first
2 nights sleeping on the barge were non existent for me. I slept maybe 4 hours
both nights combined. In the bottom of the boat there was no air movement,
mosquitoes, engine noises, and the floor board moving by my head every time
someone walked by. The third night I moved to another location on the boat and
I finally started to get my rest.
On day 4 this ear thing got to me after 4 days with no
pharmacy carrying eardrops and all traditional methods failing to release the
pressure or whatever. So I accepted the fact that in 6 short days I would be
near a doctor back in Iquitos. I
pressed on. On day 5 I was at my limit with my tolerance of my ear. I couldn’t
hear the youth that I was mentoring when they spoke to me. I couldn’t do the
work the Lord was calling me to do. It was so frustrating.
Day 6 took me to another low as I fought the heat. I played
a little bit of basketball and despite it not being nearly what I can normally
handle, I was drained. The heat was now catching up with me and I had to spend
half of the next day on the boat lying around. My attitude started to get sour
as I felt completely helpless.
The night of day 8 was one to remember for me. After a good,
long day I was drained and went to bed. An hour or so later I woke up with the
craziest cramping in my stomach. I ran off the front of the boat and threw up
profusely. I’m not going to go into detail, but the remainder of the night I
was either running to the back of the boat to use the bathroom or run off the
front to throw up. On numerous occasions I ran back and forth a few times not
knowing which end it was going to come out. I’ve never felt this pain in my
stomach before. I didn’t know if I was going to pass out or what. And I every
ounce of liquid was flushed out of my body. Every time I sipped water or
electrolytes, my stomach would turn.
Day 9 was a frustrating day, but in a whole another way. To
our surprise Jorge, our ministry contact took us on the barge to where the Amazon
River actually starts. Further down stream into a little more
remote jungle. At this time I was excited as well as really bummed out. I was
so weak from the night before that I couldn’t even sit up at times. Our group
went into the jungle for a little bit and I stayed back not able to move. I
died not being able to go on a cool little adventure. This cut through me
deeply.
These 2 weeks have been tough for me. I knew they would be.
I have a hard time in the heat and even though it rains pretty much everyday
here, the heat gets to you. I stepped in faith to be stretched and to suffer
for the Lord. I feel that I have. I have learned more about myself once again.
God is always peeling off layers of hurt in my life. I thank God for trials and
for the testing of our faith. I feel I have persevered these 2 weeks. I’d be
lying if I said they were easy. It’s so crazy how much we can easily give in
when things hurt. I was in a place where there were no options for anything
else. I couldn’t go home to my comforts there. My friends from home couldn’t
comfort me. I couldn’t even sit in something as simple as air conditioning. I’m
once again thankful for the trials and you can read why in my next blog
entitled Confessions of a Broken Heart Part – 3.
