I recently returned from Gainesville, GA where I spent 10 days training for what the next 11 months of overseas missions may look like. While there I took cold bucket showers, slept in a tent, hiked 20 miles on the Appalachian Trail, overcame my fear of spiders, and was challenged more spiritually than I was actually prepared for.
After a few intense worship services early in the week, I could feel God stirring my heart. I could feel him saying, “I’m about to rock your world, bro.” But because I am who I am, I fought him on it.
I told God that I was going on this trip but I’m NOT going to open myself up to things that I don’t understand and in 11 months come back as some hyper spiritual weirdo. Believe it or not, I really prayed that several times throughout the week.
As time progressed I could just hear God saying, “Just let me in. Just trust me. If you cling to me I’m not going to let you stray I promise.” But because Matt knows best, I continued to ignore the Holy Spirit. I continued to trust what I thought was biblical based on my own understanding and experience rather than trust the one who wrote the book.
On the 5th or 6th night of training camp, the speaker asked us to partner up with someone in the room and pray over each other. Little did I know that God was tired of me ignoring him and was about to get my attention.
I quickly partnered up with James, one of the guys on my squad and we began to pray. I prayed first and then he did. After he finished, he told me that God gave him a picture for me. He told me that he pictured me “standing at a door with my hand on the door knob but that I wasn’t opening the door because I was afraid of what was on the other side.”
After staring at him in disbelief for a few moments, I realized that God was serious; that he was calling me and would continue to call me until I answered.
A few weeks ago I came across a quote that I feel embodies what this season of life will look like for me. CS Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that, “Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.”
The World Race is about to do just that. I’m going to be challenged spiritually with things that I don’t understand. I’ll experience things that I’ve never been a part of. God’s going to reveal himself to me in ways that He hasn’t before. And I’ll be a better man for it.
What I’m learning through all of this, or rather, what God is trying to teach me as I enter this season of unfamiliarity (not just my physical journey but also my spiritual journey) is that I need to lean on the infinite wisdom and knowledge of God instead of my 23 years of experience.
The thing is that God’s always trying to call us deeper. Trying to call us further into relationship with Him. He’s not looking for us to DO more for him. He’s actually just looking for more of us and for more of our heart. And when he gets more of our heart, more of our attention, more of our affection, more of our TRUST then he’s able to DO more through us. He doesn’t need us to understand everything; He just needs an open and willing heart.
In Christ,
Matt Herrington
