I have spent the past two months ministering in both Kenya and Uganda. My days in Kenya were
filled traveling hut-to-hut in local villages sharing the gospel with people in
their home. I learned that the church in Kenya is miles wide, but only
inches deep. They are more interested in greater numbers than sincere
relationships with Christ. It was a great opportunity to instill in the
Christian leaders of the community the importance of discipleship. My time in Uganda was
spent at Child Voice, which is an organization providing a rehabilitation
program for former child soldiers who are now teen mothers. It was an
incredible opportunity to live life beside these women as they receive back their
lives that were once stripped of them. To see the joy that they found in the
Lord amidst their circumstance was remarkable.
The past two months of the race were spent well, but
unfortunately I was not living well. Leading up to the race I heard that guys
tend to loose weight on the trip given the lifestyle involved. Already being a
skinny dude, I questioned where weight would even come from if I were to loose
it. But sure enough, the weight loss began month one in Ukraine. I lost
a good ten pounds during my three months spent in Europe.
Although this was far from an ideal situation, up to this point it was merely a
self image issue and not a health issue. The beginning of Africa
however was where I first began to question whether or not what I weighed was
ok. I noticed after swinging four kids around, I was exhausted. Going to fetch
water from the well or playing a game of soccer were activities that became out
of the question. I found myself just wanting to lie around in my hammock
instead of participating in ministry. Not only was I eating food that had no
nutritional value, but I found myself not able to finish meals due to a gag
reflex that would trigger before I was even full. This was not a new issue for
me, but dealing with this in Africa was
causing me to whither away. My baseline for how I felt physically each day was
significantly worse than ever before which began to take a toll on me mentally.
Due to me being uncomfortable in my own skin, anxiety and irritability became
more prevalent in my life which made for poor living. Ultimately, I felt as if
I was not living well. Half way through Uganda I had the opportunity to
weigh myself at a Ugandan clinic. I weighed in at 118 pounds. Although this did
not surprise me, it made my situation a lot more real. Sure I felt a lack of
strength and energy on a daily basis. I noticed that I had dropped three belt
holes since the beginning of the race. But now placing a number on my weight
loss brought all that I was experiencing into reality. I began to question if the
way I was living was okay.
During this time of experiencing a decline in my health, I
really began to seek where the Lord was in all of this. Why was my body
responding the way it was due to a lifestyle I am certain God called me to? I
thought about the first missionaries to East Africa
who packed their belongings in coffins because they knew they were going to die
from disease. I asked the Lord if this was my coffin? Is this what I need to
suffer through for the sake of the gospel? The more I pushed into the Lord, the
more I realized that what I was going through was unnecessary. For almost two
months I had been questioning a peace that I had. It was a peace about Uganda being my
last month on the race. It was a peace that I needed to stop fighting and start
following. I began to talk to nurses and nutritionists back home that
understand missions and the lifestyle involved. They understand Christ and the
suffering that he endured. The overall consensus was that my situation was
incredibly unhealthy and potentially dangerous. It was agreed that I was living
a lifestyle that was unfortunately not conducive to me getting much better. It
was recommended that I go home. In following the peace I have from the Lord,
the support I have from my family and squad, and the advice I received from
specialists in America,
I have decided to return home.
This decision has been the hardest of my life. It has been
one that I agonized over for two months straight. It has not been a pleasant
process, but it has been a fruitful one. The intimacy that I formed with the
Lord as a result of my circumstance was unlike anything of my past. The Lord is
using this process to break off fear of man in my life, even as I type this
blog. And the faith that I have to step into coming home is greater than the
faith it took to begin the World Race. But the confidence I have in my decision
and the unquestionable peace that reigns in my heart is where I find my
comfort. Because of my certainty I know the Lord has a plan for me here at
home. I can be confident in the promise that I am a life in His hands. Thank
you for all of your support and I trust that you will continue to support me prayerfully
as I follow the Lord home.
