reflect on what inspires you, and let it transform into action.
What inspires you?
But really.
My what is not really a what at all, more like a who.
Meet Hannah Middleton.
My little sister.
Hannah has Down Syndrome and she is the funniest person I know. She can make me laugh like no one else can. Sometimes the things she comes up with are profound and touch my heart. Sometimes she says things and all I can do is bust out in laughter. She has a heart of gold and she's my best friend.
Here's a conversation we had on Friday, December 31st, 2010. (I recorded it on a personal blog elsewhere.)
I was watching Charlie St. Cloud in the living room and Hannah came out at sat with me after I had already got a little bit in to it. She came at the scene where there is a car accident and the little brother in the movie dies.
"Little boy die?" -Hannah
"Yes, in a car accident, his little brother died." -Me
She pauses to think
"That be like me dying." -Hannah
Not sure how to answer
Multiple times.
I yell,
And we both end up laughing to the point of tears.
I feel like most of our conversations go something like this:
There's a touching moment.
The moment is ruined by a bodily function, or an argument.
Then we just end up laughing.
Our bedroom at home looks onto the driveway. In high school, when I got my license and started to hang out with my friends more, I remember walking to the car, and hearing my sister crying in our bedroom,
"Take me with you!" -Hannah
"Hannah, I can't, I'm going to hang out with my friends." -Me
"They be my friends too!" -Hannah
Oh how this broke my heart. I'm tearing up right now remembering the times I left my sister crying and begging to come with me.
I mean of course I brought her sometimes, when I asked my friends if it was okay for her to come hang out. But I couldn't bring her every time.
There would be many times on my drives to my friends house that I would cry and ask and yell at God,
WHY CAN'T SHE COME
WHY CAN'T SHE BE NORMAL
SHE'LL NEVER DRIVE
SHE'LL NEVER GO TO COLLEGE
SHE'LL NEVER BE INDEPENDENT
SHE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY
It took me a long time to accept that I have to live the life I'm given, and she has to live the life she was given. Just because she isn't living a life that would make me happy, doesn't mean that it doesn't make her happy.
My sister attends a day program now, run by Goodwill Industries where she does lots of activities and I'm pretty sure she has more friends than I do. Every time we go into town at home, we run into someone I don't recognize saying, "Hi, Hannah!!!"
She knows everyone.
If you asked her if she was happy with her life, I'm sure she'd say yes.
If you asked me if I was happy with my life, I'd say yes.
We were handed two different hands of cards.
She will go to her program every day until who knows when.
I'm setting out on a year long trip around the world.
I've accepted that I need to live my own life.
It's not bad and I shouldn't feel guilty about living my life.
We need to live our own lives so we have cool stories to tell each other when we're old ladies sitting on rocking chairs shooting nerf guns at the kids that walk by on the sidewalk.
Hannah makes me want to be a better person.
A more loving person.
A more happy person.
A more adventurous person.
As long as I remember where I come from,
As long as I remember who made me who I am,
As long as I remember my inspiration,
I'll be good.
Thank You Lord for giving me my sister!
Love you Hannah 🙂
