Still not having fully processed all that happened month 1 and at debrief last week, I sat with the Lord this morning and tried to begin picking through all the jumbled thoughts in my head.
The last day of debrief, I had 3 one on ones left and the last one was with Kylie, one of our awesome and amazing squad leaders. Honestly, I wasn’t planning on any heavy conversation because none of my one on ones had been really heavy. (Funny one, MB) Something was said about not feeling worthy of love and having a hard time accepting others love for me and that translating into having a hard time feeling worthy of and accepting God’s love. That night,, Mama Powell (one of our squad coaches/parents) spoke at debrief and opened up a time for people to declare things over the squad, their team, themselves, the next 10 months, etc. As soon as she said “declare” I felt fire in the pit of my stomach and I knew what God wanted me to do…I knew I was supposed to stand up and declare something but I sat for a bit hoping God would give me something else to declare over my team or my squad instead of over myself.
Funny how He works…I stood up and said “I declare that we (X-squad) knows and believes we are loved and worthy of love. I declare that I, Mary Elizabeth Roberson, AM WORTHY OF LOVE!”
(My team and another team spent 4 days on an island in Lake Nicaragua) The other night, on the island, I wrote this in my journal:
“Walking around the island today and seeing the sheer beauty of Daddy’s creation was just astounding. The hike gave me a little piece of home even when I’m in Nicaragua. Watching, tonight at sunset, how the clouds wrapped around the volcano all I could think of was how that is such a beautiful illustration of God’s love for us. Just as he clouds wrap around the top of the volcano in an embrace, the Lord wraps His arms around us daily in the sweetest embrace we will ever experience or know. His love is never ending and unconditional. His love is like ocean waves that crash over you and take your breath away. His love is like the wind that blows gently through the trees yet it has the power to knock down the strongest tree in the forest. His love is like a monsoon. His love is like the gentle, quiet rain pitter-pattering on a tin roof. His love is strong yet so gentle and sweet. His love is fierce yet full of comfort. His love is like a lion. His love is like a cup of tea that warms you from the inside out. Daddy’s love is greater and mightier than anything we will ever experience. It fills you with fear and awe yet leaves you with a peace not understood by man. His love is unlike anything else.”
I don’t know about you but THAT is the love I want. That is the love I want to experience on a daily basis. That is the love I want to sweep me off my feet every morning and to hold me as I sleep every night. The amazing thing is I DO have that love. That is the love I am worthy of…you are worthy of this love too.
Update: Leaving Costa Rica was definitely harder than I expected…a piece of myheart will always remain in that country with those people (I’ll probablysay this about every country…heads up).October 9, we walked with all our bags to the bus station from our hostel in downtown San Jose, waited an hour and got on the bus…in case you’re wondering 8 hour bus rides in the back of the bus 3 rows up from the bathroom are not the most pleasant but we (X-Squad) made the best of it.we got to Granada, Nicaragua at 8:30pm that night. We walked 10 minutes to our hostel. Debrief was a few days long and then we went to Isla Zapaterra while the rest of the squad went to our ministry site.
After spending 4 days on a island filling and carrying bags of sand, carrying bags of gravel, moving cinder blocks and anything else that was needed of us, Flood Sisters and Team Unwritten (another team of 5 incredible women of God) returned back to Granada. Island life is like nothing I have ever experienced…there is no sense of time…your shower is swimming in the lake…rice and beans is for breakfast, lunch and dinner…you eat fish freshly caught from the lake that have been thrown into oil and fried (not deboned or anything)… And the local people embrace you wholeheartedly. As hard as it was and as sore (and a little sunburnt) as I am today I fell in love (yet again). This month is all squad month…X-Squad is all together again!! We are in Granada, Nicaragua working with and staying at El Puente (The Bridge) and our ministry includes many different things. Please be in prayer for all squad month…that my team (and the others)will not lose what we gained together during month 1…for unity for the whole squad and each team individually…for the Lord to keep working in
and through us and for Him to keep blowing our minds! Please pray for health and safety of the squad…for growth…for brokenness.
Wifi is scarce this month so updates will be far and few between!
