This month God continues to break me. Yes, it is good. Yes, it is hard. I’m at a point, a deeper point I should say, where I have to truly believe if Jesus is who He says He is. Can He actually work a miracle. I’m a striver sometimes with God. Take things into my own hands or don’t realize I’m not even relying on His grace and mercy. There are areas I’ve made a mess of, areas the enemy has assaulted and I’ve worked feverishly to put it all back together. But, I see Him take my hands from the dirt where I’m digging and digging and remove them, giving me a manicure (ha), saying let me be WHO I AM, a redeemer, a deliverer, a lover, full of grace. You actually don’t have to DO ANYTHING, I just want to give you my grace. I think I have to do X, Y and Z for Him to do A, B and C. And so if I don’t do all those things, or miss one, then the whole thing is gone to heck. NO. I’ve run out of MYSELF, earning it, beating myself up for being a certain way. That’s why His grace is there, so you don’t beat yourself up, so YOU LEAN ON HIM AND WHY HE CAME.
I’ve thought I shouldn’t be so bold as to ask Him for a miracle. But, that is WHO HE IS, a miracle worker. I listened to a sermon the other day by Bill Johnson and he said something that really stood out to me for this time: Without the miraculous, a supernatural invasion there’s no clear picture of Him and His heart. Jesus came to reveal the Father and His heart. When Jesus did miracles on earth a picture of the Father was displayed. He also said we are in travail until we get it: our identities. A groaning occurs, like birth pains as we cry out in our hearts to KNOW HIM and HIS LOVE. I’ll be honest this month I feel a level of travail like I’ve never felt before. He’s pushing me further and further to HIM. He’s causing me to be empty of myself and calling me to believe JESUS IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. AND TO WAIT FOR MY MIRACLE. To have faith. I read this the other day. It spoke to me because I’ve been given a revelation for my life. Though it hasn’t fully come to pass yet, God is calling me to believe He is who He says He is.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3
Though it linger, wait for it…wait for your revelation for there is an APPOINTED TIME. Faith Lord, faith. When I’m weaker, you are STRONGER. I need your strength, not mine. I need not WORK FOR IT. For you FREELY GIVE.
