My first week in Swaziland was quite a change for me. A week prior to being here I was at debrief where I had opened up to my team about some things that I had been keeping in. After letting them know how I really see myself it has helped me process everything. One question asked at debrief was, “What do you think you bring to this team?” My answer was I'm the accountant, and that's about all.
After digging deeper into everything I have come to realize why I have felt this way. It has nothing to do with anyone here making me feel welcome or not for I have no one to blame but myself. I graduated with my Associates of Applied Science (Accounting) in May 2011. After, I became so routine in working in an accounting department and going to school to get my Bachelors in business that I forgot how to look beyond it all. By working so hard in all of these areas I began to define myself just as a student/accountant.
By identifying myself as being only a accountant/student I started losing who I really am as an individual. I still knew who I was in a sense but I didn't let that side out very often. The only people who saw me for who I really am were my family, close friends, or those who put forth the effort to get to know me.
If someone may feel like they are in the same boat as me know that you are more than what you do for a living, and it is your choice if you are going to let that person shine or not. Be who you really are and don't let others or work change that, unless it is something you want to change.
I don't know why I started letting accounting/being a student take over my life. The reasoning might be because I want to be successful, but now I know that it doesn't have to take over who I really am as a person. I'm exited to see what else God has to reveal to me. While this process is emotional and sometimes draining I know that God has me here to find myself again and to help others who are less fortunate along the way.
– More to come soon about adventures/missions here in Swaziland! 🙂
