Official blog post number one. To start, I’d like to share this quote:
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
I am truly blessed and excited to be given this amazing, going-to-be-life-changing opportunity to go on the World Race in September. But, I’m not going to lie, the past few weeks since being accepted have been a bit of a hot mess, internally. What it comes down to is this: I am both jumping-out-of-my-bones-with-joy exhilarated as well as mind-numbingly terrified at the anticipation of bursting out of my very clear and very firm comfort bubble. So I feel those words very keenly. With this decision, I have essentially issued a declaration to God: “Take me where you will. Do with my life what you will.” And that is dangerous. Sometimes-a-lot, it overwhelms me and drowns me with doubt and fear and immobility.
That is when I need to remember that Jesus never guaranteed comfort and safety, at least not the kind that I’m always grasping for. But He did promise life and joy and hope and purpose. And, such a simple but easily forgotten truth: He is good. Mr. Beaver from C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe puts it best:
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
Truth, I don’t even know if I’ll be taking a step onto the road outside of my comfort-bubble, it may be more of a hobble. But I know God is going to be the One to turn my hobble into steps and strides and leaps and bounds. It might be dangerous, scary, painful and just downright horrible to get there, but I want it. If that’s the road He’s set for me, that’s where I want to be. I’m just thankful He’s the kind of Papa who’ll carry me through, never dropping me, despite how loud and how strongly I may kick and scream and cry about it.
Because that’s me – a goopy, crumbling mess 99% of the time. My heart is wicked, selfish, lazy, arrogant, mean, and entitled. But because Jesus is everything I’m not, and because He surrendered it all to reconcile this wretched sinner with the Holy God of love and truth, I can trust that He will guide me and lead me on this journey. And that is also why I can invite you to be a part of this wild ride – and witness the power of the Lord and of the Gospel alive and at work in me and through me. Because I promise you, that is the only possible way I could go, let alone survive it.
Much like the way parents and family members watch and encourage babies as they try to walk and take those first wobbly steps, I hope that you may also share that joy and excitement in watching my (hopeful) growth in taking the first steps, and every step after, out of my comfortable bubble. It will probably be exciting sometimes, boring other times, and maybe even frustrating at moments, but because of Christ and of the Gospel of grace, I believe that it will be worth it. So in advance, thank you. (:
