It took all of about 2 hours at training camp for the batteries in my headlamp to die. Great.
I quickly had to deal with the fact that for the rest of training camp I would most likely be in the dark.
I spent the majority of the first night silently (I hope!) grumbling about the fact that I simply could not see! I didn’t think I would be the type to covet a headlamp – but here I am – guilty as charged!
I am not going to sugar coat this. Training camp is challenging as is, but trying to get though it in complete and utter darkness was downright frustrating!
Just a few of the exciting tasks I learned to perform in the dark:
-locating semi-clean clothing for our 7am squad workout (nothing was ever actually clean…)
-Organizing my pack, sleeping bag, toiletries, etc. for a morning hike (in the freezing cold!)
You get the gist. Things are exponentially more difficult in the dark.
I found myself in a very dark place that first night – and not just literally.
In that darkness, doubt began to creep in…
“Can you really make it 11 months without the comforts of home?”
“Can you really hack it out there in the world? After all, this is only training!”
“What makes you think God can even use you?”
The next morning I woke up to that same feeling of lonely, dark doubt. As I ventured up the dark, rocky pathway again, I felt lost. I felt discouraged. I was exhausted. And dare I say it? Ready to go home.
Then, without any notice, my path was completely illuminated. My hands quickly went to my head to see if my lamp had miraculously turned on – but no, it was a group of my teammates coming up behind me with their headlamps ablaze!
In my darkness I had completely lost sight of the fact that I had 57 teammates who did have headlamps. And better yet, we were all on the same path heading in the same direction! Sometimes they were at my side, guiding me up the rocky pathway. Other times they were on their own, but still able to shed a sliver of light in my direction.
I was not alone!
Undoubtedly, there will be times that we feel completely and utterly lost in the dark. The path before us will seem overwhelming and too steep to traverse on our own. We will grow discouraged and weary – sometimes so overwhelmed that we are ready to just give it all up.
These are the times we need to look around for those wearing the headlamps –
the community of believers who are traveling along the same path, headed toward home. Oftentimes they have the tools we need to continue on when the path gets too steep and rocky for us to go it alone.
And if you ever feel like you're searching for those headlamps, but they are no where to be found – take heart, because the sun is always on the horizon. This Light is all encompassing, always full of warmth, and illuminates even the darkest of paths.
