I said another heartbreaking goodbye. All of my belongings for 11 months are in my big pack and day pack. My team and I took an overnight bus with some of our squadmates from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, and today, we will board a train to continue our journey to Malaysia. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what Thailand meant to me- how I grew, how I waded through some new waters, and what the Lord taught me. This blog is my attempt to share with you where I am, so hopefully it makes sense!
What I can definitely say is I am refreshed. I feel like I am “me” again. I left Month 3 exhausted and defeated. I turned to God to understand what had gone wrong. He encouraged me to slow down and take time for myself. If you know me, I have a hard time saying “no” to things, but He showed me by constantly saying “yes” in Month 3, I had said no to myself… And to Him!
I spent a lot of time alone in Thailand but present with my Heavenly Father, and it was so good! I am learning how to balance staying healthy and loving others with the overflow that comes from being loved by such a gracious God. To do that I had to say no, and I often felt guilty- either because of the reaction of the person I said it to or because I just felt bad for saying it.
Thailand taught me to find joy in the small and mundane because Jesus is there in those moments too. In fact, that’s usually where I feel His presence most- in the still and the quiet.
I helped work on a very large, very important board that essentially names every branch of the religious and welfare organizations we worked with this month. It also includes the pictures of every person (hundreds!) with work visas who are running each church, children’s home, school, etc. The government comes in to look at it from time to time because they want to know who is doing what with the visas they granted. The process was tedious and sometimes frustrating but necessary. In that quiet time, I could sit with the Lord and just be. I wasn’t reading the Bible, following a Bible study plan, or listening to worship music. We just existed together. We chatted. I did a lot of listening. We sat in silence. (Introverts & internal processors love silence!)
Jesus was so good to me as I learned this lesson. He gave me so many desires of my heart- like off day adventures on scooters, encounters with elephants, and meeting new tiger friends. More importantly, He also gave me a month full of ministry I loved and needed. Christian Outreach Centre & Haven Foundation welcomed us with open arms. I did everything from administrative work to clearing land for new construction to running a “camp” for girls at one of their children’s homes. I was even able to sit down with a couple of teachers to talk about modifications they could use to help some of their students better succeed in the classroom.
God is in the small and big things… Whether we see it at the time or not. He is always present. It is our choice whether or not WE are present with Him. Existing with my Heavenly Father fills me so I can love from the overflow. My well never runs dry when Jesus fills it.
Logistical Updates: We are heading into Month 4 Debrief in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Teams will change during this time, and it’s bittersweet. I have spent nearly every waking hour of the past four months with my team. They’ve encouraged me and pushed me to be more like Jesus. It hasn’t always been rainbows and butterflies, but it has been worth it. I can honestly say I have sisters I wouldn’t have had without the World Race. I can’t imagine my life without them, but team changes will allow me to build closer relationships with other squadmates.
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Please continue to keep T Squad in your prayers as we enter our last month in Asia!
Joyfully yours,
Mary Catherine
