Every time someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, my answer was always the same… I have wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I love building relationships with children. I want them to know they are capable of greatness no matter what anyone says… Even me. I guess I always figured it was my way to impact the world.
Teaching is in my blood. I was born to do it. When others struggled in my education classes in college, I didn’t understand it because the information seemed more than common sense than something I needed to memorize. God gave me a gift for teaching, and I’m so thankful.
Teachers speak and read aloud all day, but oddly enough public speaking is my biggest fear. I’m fully aware my fear makes absolutely zero sense, but I always try to avoid opportunities to speak and read in front of basically any human over the age of 11.
This month my team and I have been doing village ministry. It is one type of ministry I always thought I would be okay not doing on the Race. I know that sounds horrible since I’m here to further God’s Kingdom, but that pesky, irrational fear of mine was in the driver’s seat. My fear has held me back in many situations.
There’s a lot of public speaking involved with village ministry. We go into people’s homes to pray for them and hold a service within the community followed by more praying and finally dinner, and sometimes more home visits afterwards! The whole team participates in the prayer portions of the night, but we rotate the service speakers nightly.
The Lord wanted to start my Race by throwing me as far from my comfort zone as possible, so He sent me to a small town in India where I would often get up in front of people and speak to them about the love of God. Why am I not surprised?! But He has held my hand the entire way.
The villages are an incredible place to visit. The beautiful thing about village ministry is we get to meet so many people, hear their stories, pray for them, and tell them about Jesus. The heartbreaking thing is we do not get to follow up with them because we do not visit the same village twice.
I have to turn to God in this heartbreak I feel each night. He reminded me He has never failed and is not going to start now. He loves the people of India far more than I ever could, so I trust in His perfect plan. Each person we meet and his/ her story matters. God’s glory will always outshine the darkness.
I have loved this first month of the Race. I am becoming more confident while speaking and praying in front of groups, and I actually spoke at our second-to-last night of ministry with no plan or outline other than what I knew my teammate was talking about. The first time I spoke I had literally written my message word-for-word on a piece of paper… Such a big difference!
God has been revealing a lot to me about myself and how I have been living my life. Overcoming my fear of public speaking has not been easy, and I still have work to do, but I know the fruit of this season will last an eternity.
Back in April, I was struggling with a difficult decision I knew I needed to make- whether to finish the school year with my students or resign early. It was a very painful decision, but God clearly spoke to me in the midst of my hurt and frustration with the situation. He told me I was going to be saying a lot of goodbyes I was not ready for in the coming months, and my class was going to be the first one.
Now, it is India’s turn. Leaving India does mean saying difficult goodbyes to some amazing people, but it also means saying hello to Nepal and all the things the Lord has prepared for us there.
India, you are amazing. Even in the midst of so much pain and suffering, you are full of joy like I have never seen before, and it’s because you love Jesus in a bold, no-turning-back way. You are so precious to me, and I thank you for the glimpse of your hope, beauty, and love you gave to me this month. I am so very thankful my team and I were able to plant, water, and maybe prune some Jesus trees this month.
God’s love for India is overwhelming. My love for India is overwhelming. God’s love for me is overwhelming. My love for Him is overwhelming.
I’m thankful to serve and be loved by such a good, good Father who believes I am a worthy, work-in-progress.
*Month 2 will be here soon! We have basically been disconnected all month, so I don’t even know what other teams have experienced in India. I’m excited to hear what the Lord has done this month in and through T Squad! We will soon be reunited to travel to Nepal. Our flight leaves early on Wednesday, July 29th. Bittersweet. Please pray for safe travels as we are reunited and travel to Kathmandu. We’re off to Nepal, y’all! 🙂
