My favorite book of the Bible is James. I think it is super relevant to life today for many people. I think it gets to the point very quickly and very directly, teaching important lessons without the Tolkien-esque vocabulary and detail. Its easy to read, easy to understand, easy to apply.
Or, at least thats how I reason it to people when they ask me my favorite book. Lately I’ve had a very hard time applying it. While there are many wise, useful verses in the book of James my favorite is:
“Count it all joy, my brothers, in various trials,
for the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1:2.
We all nod our heads and say a hearty amen to that one. I know I do anyway. But what does that mean?
“I got a $350 speeding ticket! Praise The Lord!”
“My dog got ran over! Praise The Lord!”
“I was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer! Praise The Lord!”
“I’m not going to be fully funded for my mission trip! Praise The Lord!”
Lol, what? What did you even just read? I know right, I kind of feel the same. But thats my point guys. James is MY favorite book. James 1:2 is MY favorite scripture. So why can’t I apply it to MY life?
I walk around sending encouraging notes, letters, cards, with that scripture on it.
“Oh, you failed a test? James 1:2!”
“Oh, you’re fighting with your husband? James 1:2!”
“Oh, you’re mom is dying? James 1:2!”
BUT THEN…
Something happens in my life, some trial makes itself known in my life, and I RUN. Not literally of course, I don’t literally run for any reason at all ever. But a trial comes up in my life and I’m out. Gone. catch me if ya can.
Recently I have been selling my James 1:2 wisdom like girl scout cookies in January, but I haven’t been buying it. I want you to eat Samoa’s and get fat and I want to sit here and watch. Weird I know, but really.
My Mom’s foot isn’t healing. What does that mean? I don’t really know. Will she ever be able to walk without that boot, or a cane, or a wheelchair? Will she loose her leg? And if she looses her leg, what does that mean? What if she gets an infection and dies? What if they can’t figure out whats wrong with her stomach? What if they can’t figure out where she’s losing blood? What if something happens to her while I’m gone? I don’t know. I’d never forgive myself for not being here. Will my aunt’s health keep failing to the point where she can no longer take care of herself? Where she can no longer help mom out around the house? I won’t be here. I don’t know. If these things do indeed happen, will dad be able to run his company and take care of them? I don’t know. Will MacKenzie get the help she needs for the problems she has? Will she accept Christ as her Savior? I don’t know. What will they do without me while I’m out of the country for 11 months? Can I really leave? They need me here. They need my help. My mom is my best friend and I cannot leave her alone when she needs me, because she has not ever once left me. Not once. She is loyal to a fault, and here I am running, leaving. Can I do this…
I DON’T KNOW.
And because I don’t know, I run. I shut down, I hide from it. I take it from God and say, “No God. Let me worry. Let me stew. Let me hate myself because I can’t fix it. Please God just let me…”
There is no joy there. God is handing me plenty of opportunities to grow and trust him, to count it all joy. To practice the speech I throw around to those struggling, to those being challenged by Christ, and when he throws the challenge back to me, I back down. I turn and I run as fast as I can, fueled by an uncontrollable fear given straight to me by the devil.
This weekend was spent in a hazy depression that I didn’t know how to run from. It came in fast and it lingered and I didn’t know what to do. So, instead of turning to the Father for help, I ran. But this time, he stopped me. He told me to open up my bible and read James 1:2. And I did. And I wept.
God broke me. God presented me with these trials, and while I didn’t count them as joy at first, he showed me that there is no other way to count them. If my faith and focus are on him, where can I go wrong? What power does the enemy hold over me? None. None at all, other than what I give him when I lose focus. God has it under control. He knows whats going to happen to my family while I’m gone. He is our providor, not me. It is not my responsibilty. I am not the savior of the world, I am not Christ. The only thing I am is a called servant, a sinner saved by grace, a child of the King. And because I am called to GO I will, and I will trust God and his plan and know that no matter what happens he will provide. If I stay not only do I put my family as an idol before Christ, but I look God in his face and say,
“Sorry bro, but I know better, and your plan, its just not gonna work for me.
Sit back God, relax, and watch what I can do.”
And those just don’t sound like wise words to say to God.
So, this weekend, God used my favorite verse to change my life, yet again. God calls us to count it ALL joy. He doesn’t say that it will be easy to do so, but he does say that it will make you stronger. So I’m sorry that your trials won’t always be that brussel sprouts have been made illegal to consume in your state. I’m sorry that your trials won’t always be that they ban Lady Gaga videos on Youtube, or make flights to Paris free. I’m sorry that sometimes, your trials will be that you get a speeding ticket, or lose someone you love. Sometimes it will seem absolutely impossible for you to “count it all joy”, but I promise that if you give it to the father, if you place your trust in him, he will help you.
Also, side note, it would just really make my day if one of you that read this donated $1, or $5, or $1.58, or any amount at all into my worldrace account, if you feel so led. I have another deadline on its way and it would be tremendous to reach it. If you want to, go to my blog page and click the “support me” tab!
–Mary Auger #NittowiNit
