When
I was in Middle School, I read a book called Lady in Waiting. It was a
devotional for girls to teach them how to become mighty women of God.
It has been about 10 years since I have read that book, but its impact
is still making waves in my life today. The first chapter is titled “A
Lady of Reckless Abandonment”. It focuses on the beautiful story of the
woman who anointed Jesus’ feet with an expensive jar of perfume. This
is one of my favorite stories because it demonstrates the power of
abandonment. The jar of perfume was far more than just expensive
liquid. Traditionally, the Hebrews would use this jar to collect all
of their tears and then mix it with perfume. It was this beautiful
idea that God was collecting all of their grief and turning it into an
exquisite fragrance. So when the woman knelt down and broke her
alabaster jar before Jesus, she was not just pouring out expensive
liquid – she was literally taking every tear her heart had ever cried
and placing it at the Lord’s feet. Scripture says that she did not
just pour the perfume on Christ’s feet – no she did something far more
beautiful. She completely broke the jar. She decided that she would
no longer collect tears, and would simply abandon everything and follow
Jesus. In this moment, I can just feel her brokenness. I can just
feel her heart saying “Take all of me Jesus, take my past, take my
hurts, take my grief, take my passions, I break it all at your feet.”
She did this because she recognized Jesus as God. Once she realized
that the God of the universe was before her, it was everything she
could do to contain herself. She ran to find the most precious thing
that she owned, the thing that she treasured closest to her heart, and
then broke it at Jesus’ feet in a sign of submission. She was a woman
of Reckless Abandonment. Because of this act of brokenness, Jesus says
that her story would be told throughout the entire world for thousands
of generations.
I love
that phrase – Reckless Abandonment. I can just feel the freedom
saturating those words. In order to abandon things, truly abandon
them, there is a wild passion behind it. It is the type of passion
that drives crazy people to do the impossible. It is the type of
passion that makes people believe that dreams are possible, and that
Kingdom can truly come. I have been learning this month, that to truly
go to the deeper places of God, we must because people of Reckless
Abandonment. There are so many things in this world that are holding
us back from the dynamic things of God. How tightly do I hold on to
things, and am I willing to break everything at Jesus’ feet in order to
follow him. As much as I don’t want to admit it, abandonment is the
message of the Gospels. Every person that Jesus called to follow him
had to completely abandon their old life. They didn’t just have to
leave their past mistakes behind, they were even called to abandon the
good, God-given things. This is the place that God has been calling me
to this month. A few days ago, I felt God calling me to abandon even
more than I already have. At first I was resistant. I kept praying,
“God I’ve given up my family, my home, my bed, what else do you want me
to give up?” And yet he called me deeper. I began breaking the things
that he was asking me at his feet in a sign of submission and
abandonment. Even though it is hard to break the things that you love,
it is also the most freeing thing in the world.
Today I
was brought to another level of abandonment. Our squad leaders have
been praying for a while what the next step for our squad was. They
felt like the Lord was calling us all to a level of abandonment. They
heard the Lord asking us to fast all technology as we spend December in
Israel. This means that we will not have any Internet access, and will
not use our computers, iPods, or anything else electronic. So this
month, I will not be able to communicate with all of you who I love so
much. But please know that you are in my prayers constantly and that I
miss you more than I can describe over the internet. Even though I am
very sad that I will not be able to talk to my family on Christmas, I
am excited that God loves us enough to challenge us. I am really
looking forward to spending more time with Him and just sitting at the
Lord’s feet in worship. We are leaving for Israel in less than 8 hours
and I could not be more excited!! It is the perfect place for me to
get still before the Lord, and show Jesus’ love to those who have not
experienced it yet. That’s the thing about abandonment, God doesn’t
just call us to hard places so that we can suffer – it’s because he has
so much more good for us! He wants to shower us with his love, his
blessings and his anointing. Sometimes those things can only come when
we are at a place of complete brokenness. And the quickest was to
brokenness is through abandonment, reckless abandonment. Is God
calling you to lay some things down at his feet? Are you ready to
respond in reckless abandonment and completely break the jar instead?
You see, I just keep getting this whisper in my ear that abandonment is
the key to blessing. It’s the key to a deeper relationship with
Jesus. It the start of a different kind of life – a world changing
kind of life.
So may we have the strength to take our most precious alabaster jar and use it to anoint the precious Lamb of God.
May we have the courage to hear the Lord’s voice as he calls us to
deeper places with him. And may we have the obedience to walk down
that path.
May we truly be people of reckless abandonment.
