Here’s an honest overview of our trip so far: Cambodia was awesome. It had its challenges (like huge cockroaches and dock spiders under the squaty-potties, or living in our tents in the sweltering heat, or only having bucket-showers), but we got to teach English to kids, play soccer, and just love youth – something I know God has gifted me with, being a huge camp person! Our team was in the “honeymoon phase” because we were fresh and excited, still getting to know each other. Thailand was really cool. Our whole squad was together in Chiang Mai – so we had the comfort of a real bed, wifi around the corner, and many people to hang out with on our time off. The women we worked with the cafe were inspiring and joyful – it was amazing!
Then Vietnam happened. My grandfather passed away back home just a week or so before we left Thailand, and now that the busyness of all-squad month had come to an end, I was slowly beginning to process it. We were back to our team of 6, on the dirty outskirts of a city where we were clearly the only foreigners (have you ever felt like a zoo animal?). The flexibility of our ministry schedule, and its pockets of down time, made me begin to miss home – especially in anticipation of Christmas. Our team’s “honeymoon phase” had reached its end, and the tension of “things left unsaid” was building. One of my team mates and I also narrowly avoided a pretty sketchy situation with a Vietnamese man who called us over at the side of the road…
Guys, this month started out rough for me. The pictures on facebook really only give the world a one-sided view of what we’ve been up to. Cuz let’s get real – I’m not going to post a picture of myself waking up from a nightmare, unable to breathe. Or one of me fighting tears while I write an email back to my parents. Or hearing the news that a close family friends of ours was diagnosed with leukemia, or that one of my father’s childhood-neighbour friends took his life just a few weeks ago. Or of our team sitting down for four hours just the other week and hashing out what we needed to change about our attitudes and habits so that our month in Vietnam could be less about our individual agendas and more about what we were COLLECTIVELY capable of conveying to this closed country.
God is so SO good. He has been teaching me patience, and love WAY beyond my own strength. Heck, He’s been teaching me how much my own strength SUCKS. Ha ha. And it’s awesome. I mean, it’s horrible and painful, but it’s awesome. I’ve been so inspired by the faithfulness of His people in Southeast Asia, amidst all of the Buddhism that has blanketed so much of this continent, and He has taught me thankfulness beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s amazing how a paradigm shift (shout out to my fellow DEVs students) and a conscious decision to be more “real” and to love people even when it’s hard, can bring about so much growth.
The month ended beautifully. I had the chance to teach a dance class a few times, and my students performed their routine at the English Club’s picnic. We looked back on moto adventures into District One with our student friends, our time spent with our host and his family, great questions and conversations at various cafes with young people who are so eager to learn that it blows my mind. The gratitude we received at our goodbye caught me so off-guard, because for some reason I had convinced myself that I hadn’t done anything this month. But God started to remind me of the encouragement I was able to pass along, and the smiles and laughter I got to be a part of. He reminded me of the times of I was nervous to step up and use his talents for Him, but did it in order to bless others.
When I look back on this past month, I see a beginning, middle and end. I see fear, frustration, sadness, and bitterness. Then I see a face-off between myself – between the choice of writing off Vietnam as “just not my favourite month” and the choice of seeking out my team mates, scheduling more cafe appointments with students than expected, and deciding to be joyful when the circumstances or timing just didn’t line up with what I want. Then I see excitement, enthusiasm, life, and potential. Our goodbyes were genuinely bitter-sweet because we really HAD gotten to be a part of something pretty neat in Vietnam.
Now, with such positive closure to Vietnam, I have a brand new excitement and anticipation of Africa! LET’S GO.
