For the last 2ish weeks, I keep having this recurring dream; it starts out in a car or on a plane or some other variation of transportation, and I am in a panic and near tears… I ask the person driving or flying if they can pllllleeaaseee turn around! I need to go back, I've forgotten practically everything I should have packed! The people with me make several attempts at calming me down and telling me it will be ok, but I am really freaking out!
When I finally wake up from these dreams, I still feel a bit panicked. I was on my way to training camp in my dream, and was completely unprepared. Training camp, which is sneaking up pretty quickly, (May 18-25) serves as a kind of "final interview" where I will meet all the people on my squad, spend a week getting know them, as well as my gear that I will be using on the Race, and most importantly have an intense and raw experience getting to the core of who God wants me to be and how I have ended up where I am. You can check out more about training camp here.
These anxious feelings I have in my dreams are really making me think.
I honestly don't feel apprehensive about camp, or the Race! I know that this is a huge commitment, but I am really so excited for it. As I have expressed before, God has been so present throughout this journey already and has continually let me know that I am in the right place… However, I am beginning to think that these dreams are some kind of subliminal message, revealing that I am a bit anxious about my preparedness for training camp and the Race. I have spent quite some time studying packing list after packing list of several world racers, and have seen countless conversations within my squad about packing; it really is a daunting task, figuring out which gear to buy, and what stuff I will actually need can be overwhelming! I have a 65L pack, and about 40 pounds to work with– for 11 months, that's pretty serious. Especially when I think about my chronic over-packing issue… but then I am quickly reminded that the Bible tells us over and over to cast our burdens on the Lord, and He will care for us! (1 Peter 5:6,7 Psalms 55:22)
In response to these bad dreams, I am making this commitment: To not be worried about what I will pack or if I will have everything I need, because I know that my God provides for me! Philippians 4:19 is a verse that I have turned to many times since I started this journey, and I continue to be able to apply it to all areas of my life.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
On another note, I was able to purchase a bunch of items I need for the Race on REI this week! There was a ton of stuff on sale, and many people have donated money that I was able to use to get a sleeping pad, a rain cover for my pack, some packing cubes, and a few other things for under 150$ sidenote: the sleeping pad I got is normally $140 alone- so this was a great deal!
Today wraps up a 30 day challenge that I took (with KLove radio) to only listen to Christian music. This challenge has been such a blessing; I saw how much better my day goes when I start it off praising God- even just in the car on my way to work, and I got my family listening to more Christian music 🙂
I also committed to not checking my fundraising account for 1 month. I started this "fast" on January 27. This is not because I am expecting to be fully funded by the end of the month or anything crazy like that, but because I was checking it every single day and felt like I was spending too much time thinking about it. The money in the account is there because of what God is putting on your hearts to give, not by any work or effort that I have put in. I am working on trusting fully in Him to continue providing and to make the World Race a possibility for me. I felt like this was a good way to choose trust instead of worry! The last time I checked, I was at about $4,750- which is incredible :)Thank you all for your commitment to praying for and/or supporting me, I am so appreciative!
2 Corinthians 9:7,8 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.
Things I still need to acquire: a tent, all of my vaccines, some more gear, and flights to and from training camp as well as to my launch in July. Please join me in praying over these things, as well as continued fundraising!
Also, I start my new jobs this week, and am feeling super blessed (as usual!) as I will be able to save more money for the things I mentioned above!
