Think…
When someone asks you, “how are you”, what is your response?
I’ve been noticing that my answer to this question is usually, “I’m good”.
Sometimes I’ll answer so fast I won’t even process the question. “I’m good”, or “I’m alright”, comes out without hesitation. That’s my answer regardless of how I am actually doing.
Why is that?
How have I been programmed like a machine to answer this way?
Without even considering how I am I have given a response that tells you nothing about me.
Am I the only person doing this?
Part of the reason I answer this way is because of the circumstance in which I am asked, “How are you?” This question is often asked in passing someone in the hall. The amount of time to respond isn’t sufficient enough to say anything but, “I’m good”.
Well I could answer truthfully in that amount of time, “I’m feeling lonely”, “I want to escape”, or the most truthful for me as of late, “I don’t know how I am”.
But those replies often open the door for a real conversation; something that goes beyond the surface that you all see.
It’s easier for me just to tell you that everything is good, than to start the socially awkward conversation of expressing my feelings with you. Which, if we are being honest, isn’t really what you intended when you asked me how I was in the first place.
Our culture uses the question, “how are you?” to let people know that we see them. It is a shadow making them believe that we care for them.
While I agree that acknowledging someone is crucially important. Just to recognize you see someone by a smile, or a wave, or a “howdy” can change someone’s day. Then, over the course of time, being continually recognized will change the way they view themselves and enviably their lives.
We as beings need to be recognized and know we are not alone!
But does asking someone how he or she is in passing really do that? When I am asked in passing how I am, I feel more alone now than ever.
You are acknowledging that you see me, which, as I said earlier, is beautiful and important. However, when I am asked, how I am in passing, I feel as if I am being mocked. I am being seen as a person, asked how I am, and then given no real opportunity to express myself.
This leaves me feeling isolated, like an island just off the shore.
We need to start being more genuine with our questions, (myself included).
By following this cultural norm, we are doing the Body a great disservice.
If you don’t have time to ask the question, “how are you”, then don’t. That’s a question that is as deep as the ocean. Yet, we continually ask it and expect people to stay and play in the waves by the shore.
Instead, say good morning. Recognize how beautiful someone is and tell them what you see. Let them know that you value them. Shoot them a smile; tell them how you see God in them. Just be careful what words you use because they are powerful.
I just feel like we need to be cautious with the manner in which we ask this question. It has the potential to really show someone you care for them. So I am going to try and stop overusing it, devaluing it.
We need to express how we really are. “I’m good” in passing, doesn’t begin to cover it.
