So a few nights ago I was in my room and around 2 o’clock in the morning I started listening to some music on Pandora. Next thing you know its 5 o’clock and I am still awake. My mind has been wandering and because of my current job my sleep schedule is way off. It was hard to not think about things so instead of fighting it I listened to the music and talked/inquired about some things with God. Everything from am I making the right decision to go on this missions race, to what does God even have for my life, who is my future wifey, why is it I’ve never seen a baby pigeon (do they just pop out adults??)or why do we never see billboard signs get changed, they just appear changed the next day, things like that haha!
I tend to hold things in a lot and at some point I’ll remember that’s one thing holding me back and I’ll pray and get back on track. Well as my last post mentioned I have been going through a really rough time the past few months and during this time of reflection and music, all of a sudden I started weeping, and it was so intense my bed was wet from tears. I haven’t cried like that since I gave my life to God in 2010 and it was Awesome!! I forget how that relieves so much pressure and really puts you in a place of total dependence on God, cause lets face it…..nothing says God I need you/I don’t know what to do, more than allowing God to break you and just surrendering!
I don’t ever really cry and I know its something that I should do more. Its funny when I look at my life most of the things I struggle with are tied in with my lack of surrender and my lack of allowing myself to be weak (letting God break me). I know its part of this walk and coming to a place of confidence, but sometimes I wish it could just happen. I know I have been called to be a leader, called to the missions field, and called to be a man after Gods own heart and by golly I am going to do just that.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support! If you feel led to give financially you can go to my page markmanchester.theworldrace.org and donate!
P.S. these are the countries I will be going to, I switched routes because I felt God leading me to do so, I am excited to see what God does!
