“You’re not good enough.”
“You really think they could ever respect you?”
“She’s too good for you.”
“You aren’t funny.”
“None of them really love you.”
“Why would they want to talk to you?”
These are only a peek into the attacks I have received from the enemy over the last few years. I wish I can say I don’t listen to them, but often times I can convince myself that they aren’t attacks, but truths.
Believing lies like these can be devastating to a person. They can tear you apart and make you feel worthless.
You would think that the closer you get to the Lord and the more secure you get with your identity in Him, the less these attacks would come. That’s not a truth. The attacks don’t come less, they come harder and more frequent. A Christian content with doing nothing for the Kingdom is exactly what the enemy wants, why mess with that. No, it’s those who are growing and making disciples that he wants to take out.
Honestly, there has been more spiritual warfare over the last year in my life than ever before. More specifically the last two weeks have been attack after attack after attack.
What do we do in moments like those? The lies are so tempting to believe.
Vulnerability sucks. To be real and open to what you are struggling with can be terrifying, and then living in that terror is just a breeding ground for more attacks. Even so, vulnerability is the key to victory.
There is no sense in putting up a front. God knows. He knows when you are experiencing doubt, or are experiencing some major attacks. He wants to draw you near in those times, to protect you. He won’t do that though, if you won’t be vulnerable with Him and truthfully express your need. If He fixed all of my problems without me ever needing to ask, I would never truly depend on Him.
He would become my glorified problem fixer, not my Holy Savior and Loving Father.
He desires to comfort and to give growth in the midst of these attacks, to give meaning and to raise you up stronger and more reliant on Him than you were before.
When you put up that wall, blocking anyone from seeing the attacks or doubt swirling around inside, you project a false self that can be used by the enemy to further attack those around you.
“Why can’t I be like him/her?”
“It doesn’t seem like he/she is ever struggling. What is wrong with me that I can’t have that relationship with the Lord?”
You invite yourself into a season of falsity that makes sin and insecurity a lifestyle.
Instead, while these attacks may grow in intensity, if your relationship with the Lord is growing as well, then so is your defense. It will grow easier to throw on that armor and extinguish the enemy’s darts:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”
Ephesians 6:10-18
I wish I could say that the more I grow, the less I feel attacked, but I’ve come to realize that the target on your back grows with you. The enemy is afraid of men and women truly living out their faith. In a way then, once we recognize the lies as attacks, they should serve as an encouragement that we are growing and the Lord is doing work in and through us. We should only worry then, if the attacks stop coming.
My name is Mark Jackson and I have had countless lies thrown at me that threaten who I am and what I am worth. But I also have a real Truth that defines me, comforts me, defends me, and loves me.
Stop listening to the lies.
Be vulnerable and put on the armor.
