I remember the first time I really felt called. I was nine. My dad had taken me with him to visit an orphanage in Guatemala. While he was taking a tour of the building, I was sitting on a slide in the playground watching the children interact. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks….these kids don't have parents. At the moment there weren't any adults around and I began to wonder. Who was going to take care of these kids? Who was going to tuck them in at night? Who was going to teach them? Who was going to hug them? Who was going to love them? I made a resolve in my young heart in that moment. I would be the one. I would love the ones who didn't have anyone to love them. Here I am, Lord, send me.
That was the beginning. Almost twenty years later, my dream remains the same. I want to love the "least of these". I had the opportunity to attend a conference in Chicago last fall with Rolland and Heidi Baker. At one point, Heidi had us ask God for visions of those we would be ministering to in the future. I didn't really understand what I was supposed to be asking for, but as soon as I closed my eyes I saw myself floating high above the world, able to see all the continents. Suddenly my vision zeroed in on Central America. I watched as faces of children began to pop up at me from different countries. This made sense to me, as my heart has always been for the children of Central America, especially Guatemala and Costa Rica. I was content to stay focused on those countries, however, I found my vision shifting to South America where the same thing happened. It didn't stop there. I saw faces over Africa, the Middle East, Asia, Russia, Europe, even Canada and the United States. In all honesty, the vision left me feeling overwhelmed. It felt like too much. Too many nations, too many languages, too much need, too many to love! I tried to justify having such an outrageous vision with various explanations. Maybe I'll impact the lives of children who will be going to those nations someday, or maybe I'll meet people from all over the world wherever I end up. However, limiting that vision with my own understanding was not the answer. God let me know, "I Am Enough." There is enough of Him for all the need in the world. I don't want to put limitations on how He uses me.
I was sharing this vision with a dear friend of mine a few months ago. She told me that it sounded like The World Race. Not knowing what that was, I decided to take a look at the website. I've been considering a lot of options for long term missions over the past few years. Every website that I visit or person that I talk to tends to stir up the passion to just "go". This time it was different. There was a stirring up that happened, but not just passions. Fear and uncertainty came seemingly out of nowhere. It was unexpected it got my attention. There was something to this. So I brought it before the Lord and I clearly heard, "Go for it, daughter." In the moment, that is not what I wanted to hear, because part of me was still waiting to hear him say, "Not this one. I have an easier path in mind for you." Just yesterday, I heard Kris Vallotoon say, "If there is no fear in your life it is because you have reduced your life to accomodate it." That was only more confirmation to the decision I have made. My desire is to position myself in a place where I have to trust God. The World Race offers that very thing.
And so I am going because I have been called. Eleven countries. Eleven months. What a privilege! Here I am, Lord, send me.
