“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
I remember reading this verse when I was around 9 or 10 and completely falling in love with it. God’s love overwhelmed my young heart and I couldn’t help but be captured by the words “nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God.” Although I have always loved this verse, I recently realized that I have unconsciously started separating myself from the love of God. I did not know I was doing this, in fact I thought God was separating himself from me. I’m realizing that for so long I have been hung up on the shame of my sin instead of the grace and love of my savior. I’ve separated myself from Him based on my perception of how my sin should be treated. I’m realizing that never once did He separate Himself from me.
I came to this earthshattering realization on day during worship at training camp. I was standing there reminding God of all my sins and how unworthy I was when I heard Him say “you were never banished my princess.” My throat choked up and my mind stopped talking for the first time since I started my “I’m not worthy rant.” Did my God just call me His princess? And if so what did He mean by “You were never banished?” Didn’t He hear what I was saying? Didn’t He know how screwed up I really am? Why wouldn’t He banish me, if anyone deserved it I certainly did. These questions overwhelmed my mind as I tried to process what I just heard. Could it be that His love for me is not dependent on my behavior? Could it be that His love for me is really unconditional? I knew these things. I knew His love was unconditional, but I don’t believe I ever truly felt it. Out of shame and regret I would ration God’s love for me based on my behavior, when all along His love never changed its ( unconditional) intensity for me. I was never banished. I was His princess. I am not defined by what I have done; I am defined by what Christ has done for me.
