Yeah, I know.
I would say I'm a pretty lovey dovey person. I'm more emotional than most, I cry when I see cute puppies or these days, baby goats. When someone says something encouraging to me I want to bawl my eyes out. I tear up pretty much every day with either happy or sad tears, or because I'm laughing that hard. It's the way God created me. I'm also dramatic. But I am learning to not wear my emotions on my sleeve and be easily swayed with everyone else. It's a hard lesson to learn because I've been trying to learn this..lets see..MY WHOLE LIFE.
There is something I'm struggling with though.
I have so much love for people, that I'm scared of not being loved in return. It's something I'm actually pretty terrified of. I'm afraid I'm just going to be dropped like I meant nothing. I'm scared of losing friendships and relationships that are so meaningful to me. Like… I have nightmares sometimes. Ridiculous, I know.
So how do I fix this problem? How do I let these trust issues disappear? No one has done anything to me, it's my own insecurity. Well, I'm not too sure how to fix it except, Jesus.
Ephesians 3:14-20
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in LOVE may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Aaannnnnddddd…there ya go. God is always there. He has also given me a community that calls me out on the hard stuff. God cares too much about His children to let things go unsettled. The messiness continues. 🙂
