Tonight my heart shattered. It shattered because God got rid of old strongholds that were tangling my heart. Tears flowing but love coming strong. Lies that have been there for a very VERY long time.
This past month God told me to sing. I have always loved singing, I just don't know how. In my mind I'm always pretending to be Christina Aguilera (I'm praying she will love Jesus one day!) or someone with a powerful voice. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great singer in the car or shower, just when no one else is around. But God said He's calling me to be bold. To step up and rise to the very full. Fear of man will no longer choke my heart and soul. So, I asked my friends Amanda and Kellie to help me. I had my first voice lesson, which was hilarious, then my second one on the stoop in our backyard of a little village of Romania. That lesson was pretty funny too.
So after I walked in my obedience, I thought that was all I had to do. I mean, I sang for the first time in front of someone, by myself. Isn't that enough? Nope. God wanted total freedom.
Tonight we had a girls night. It was a beautiful time talking about the Bride of Christ, falling more in love with Him. It touched my heart and His presence was thick. At the end of some amazing testimonies, God said, "it's time to sing.". Ummm…WHAT?! My hands started sweating, body trembling, and the "what if" questions started flying.
Well, I did it. I got up and I sang. I sang "Holy Spirit" by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. I couldn't sing very loud, and I was crying, but I put my hand over my heart and the other raised high and just asked The Lord for freedom. It happened and it was incredible.
I tell myself I can't too many times. I can't sing, I can't run without walking, I can't figure something out, I can't this or that. It's time to stop saying that! It's time to say the opposite. I can do all things through Christ because He is my strength. I sang, I've ran without stopping, I've figured things out, and I've done some pretty cool things. I CAN succeed.
Fear of man, get outta here. Lies, go away. Go back to the pits of hell where you belong.
Thank you Lord for freedom. For redeeming my heart. For making me stronger and more beautiful in your sight. I am so loved by You.
