It’s August 5th, 2014 12:04am. Barely past the 12am maker and I can’t sleep. It could be that in a mere several hours I am hopping on a plane to California to visit one of my dear friends I met working at a summer camp in Maine last summer or… it could be something much bigger.
See this really isn’t unusual that I can’t sleep because ever since I moved back to my hometown I’ve been making it a habit to go to sleep late. But tonight the cause of my sleepless night goes to the fact that I am overwhelmed with joy and peace.
I laid in the comfy hotel bed. Put my phone on silent and began my usual “thank you Lord” prayers.
It first started as recalling memories of summer ’13 spent in beautiful Readfield, Maine with absolutely amazing co-counselors. I remembered all the laughs we shared, all the nights our cabin girls just didn’t want to go to sleep, all the struggles we went through together and the feeling of conquering the world when we made it through those struggles in one piece… mostly. I do recall a time when there was a spider in our cabin and as my co-counselor Erin tried to sweep it out the front door the back of the broom handle nailed me on my lip haha. Spiders are tricky man.
Then I remembered the time I went to Chicago and caught a Cubs (my favorite MLB team) game at Wrigley Field then pranced my way down the street to eat my weight in deep dish pizza. Or the time I was in Oregon/Washington visiting family and I got to see natural beauty that could’ve only been designed by our Father. Or the multiple times I was able to play some golf in the humid yet wondrous state of Florida.
Get the picture? I was laying there thinking, “man I am soooo lucky!” then it dawned on me. By no means was I or ever will be “lucky” but I have been since birth and will remain to be blessed.
Can you believe that? BLESSED.
At times I have a hard time wrapping my head around how amazing our God is. Truly, I can sit and have a battle going on in my head about how He doesn’t make sense half the time and how He is the only sense that is to ever be made in this world. Our God is powerful, very powerful. His ways are too high for us to comprehend. God does not make sense He makes faith.
When you are so in love and in awe of our Lord He will continue to lay paths of joy before you. I guarantee! He will move mountains and part seas just so you can follow Him. He will deliver to you the deepest desires of your heart, desires I bet you didn’t even know you had.
Sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I sit and think about all the places I’ve been, things I’ve done and all the people I’ve had the pleasure and honor to call friend. And how God has allowed all of it to happen to bring joy and happiness to my life. To abundantly bless me with more than I really deserve. He allowed all these opportunities for me so that I could feel light and free and relish in the laughter of a sweet child or a friend. He allowed me to carry my burdens around to show me that I couldn’t handle it on my own. He graciously lifted it off my shoulders and in it’s place gave me a love so mighty and gentle that I could never understand the depths of His grace.
You see dear friend, there are sleepless nights that belong to worry, dread, sadness or confusion. And then there are those sleepless nights that belong to happiness, peace, love, gratitude, courage, enthusiasm and praise to the Most High and most wonderful God of all time.
There is growth to be found in both the night that belongs to darkness and the night that belongs to The Light. For without one, you would not know about the other or the difference between. So let’s thank God for those sleepless nights and the difference to be found. Amen.
Sleep-deprived-but-rich-in-spirit,
Mariah
