Hello, sorry for the delay in writing this blog!!
Let’s talk about the Santiago de el Camino, shall we??
Before starting this journey, I was nervous. I was nervous about carrying my 50lb pack, I was nervous about walking 130 miles, I was very nervous about the personal expenses that were needed in order to make this journey even possible. The squad did a lot of talking about this journey and we held information sessions and talked about the various resources and information that is available to us- and that helped me tremendously!
When it came time to actually walk the Camino, what it really came down to was the mental game. A few of my squad besties got up by 4 am and made our way to the next designated stop (which was a 13 mile trek). It took us 6.5 hours to walk that distance and to be honest- it wasn’t too terrible. I got to be very exhausted by mile 10, so I basically dragged my feet til the end, but it did get accomplished! I was proud of myself for going that far!
Much of the days after that were very similar. However my mental game wasn’t as strong to keep going… I honestly walked 75 miles out of the 133 that we did as a squad, and honestly- I don’t regret it.
God spoke to me more on the ten day Camino trek than he did all of the race (that or I was just actually trying to tune in)… God wanted me to know about my worth according to his eyes! He talked to me about my character as he sees it and not how I perceive myself. God wanted me to know that I am precious to him, and to be honest, I argued with him the whole time.. I put others on a scale of always being better than me and that they deserve way more than any opportunity that comes my way.
God gave me the vision one night of me standing before him in the throne room, and I was in my grungy Zimbabwe work outfit covered in dirt, smelling foul, and hair all a mess. He then looked me straight in the eyes and put a tiara on my head and told me that the land was for me to harvest- that I can roam anywhere in his kingdom and he will always be by my side, that this was my inheritance and that this special gift was for me only. God let me know in that moment, that I am special to him, that he does have big plans for me, and that I am worthy of his love- regardless of what I smell like, look like, or do within my lifetime.
After that vision God said to me very sternly that I was to finish out the Camino strong. That I could and do persevere past hard challenges/circumstances and that I am not a failure. I cringed at the thought of finishing the Camino because what lay ahead with only one day left was a trek of 24 miles……. I said ok, give me your strength then!
That being said, I woke up and started walking by 3 am.. I was good until mile eight where my knees started giving me trouble, but by that time it was only 5:30 am and no busses were running, so I said lets see what happens in another eight miles.. By the time mile 16 happened it was about 9:30 and we met up with another group from our squad and had breakfast. I walked with some people for a few miles but started slowing way down. By mile 21 I had been on my own for three miles and wanted out. I wanted so badly to quit, to call a cab or bus; however with no phone, no translator, and no money, that just wasn’t possible.. I did ugly cries on the road for the next three miles as I had gotten a bit lost, and wanted to be done, but I kept moving forward.
My negative attitude kept me from hearing Gods truth, but I did hear him say- keep moving forward, you can do it.. Sure enough, by 12:45 pm, I had finally completed 24 miles of walking and had been reunited with my squad! I would say I’m proud that I made it, but I now know how stubborn I can be!
I learned a few things I wasn’t expecting and it carried me through til the end. Most of life is going to be a mental game. It’s going to be uncomfortable but there will always be an end to that. Keep pushing through, keep saying yes, keep being vulnerable and don’t give up!
I’ve got two more blogs I’ll post this week before PSL (project search light), I’m going to work diligently! Thanks for your patience!!
Feel free to message me if you have any questions about the race, re-entry, or anything else!
