Since I’ve been back from Training Camp and in the comforts of my own home in Seattle, there are a few things that I have learned. Some things include what my comforts are, such as: my comforter, or nice down pillows, or even having Mac N’ Cheese whenever I want it (childish, I know). Along with my own comforts that I surround myself with is also the self realization of how independent that I am…
Me being independent is not in and of itself a bad thing- I have taught myself how to be independent from a very young age and I definitely used to pride myself on being able to handle anything that life throws my way. Both of these things have been brought to my attention over the last few weeks more so than they ever have been. You see, living closely with 36 other individuals has you seeing your faults and things that you need to work on. It also has you recognize that being independent isn’t really allowed while in third world countries and trying to work in a team.
While at Training Camp the women did an activity that tried to prepare us for what being in a third world country would be like. The activity had us break up into six women per team. We needed to walk a 1/4 of a mile (if that) to where the “pharmacy” was. Here’s the catch- we had 2 people who were “vomiting’ every 2 minutes, 1 blind, 1 immobile from the hips down, and 2 who didn’t have any physical ailments. Thankfully I didn’t have any physical problems and I was able to give a girl on my team a piggy back ride to where we needed to go- however, we needed to move as a team to get to the pharmacy within 5 minutes, otherwise people would gain worse complications. I wanted to get to the pharmacy as quickly as possible so that I could get medicine for my team, but my team lead reminded me that it is a team effort- everyone crosses the finish line at the same time.
I suck at this. I have lived my life for 23 years always caring for myself, but have never considered others in the sense that I need to do things with people, and actually find it to be more of a hassle when doing that… I can shop, care for, and love on others well, but I find it hard reaching a goal with other people. I don’t mind including others, but I dislike giving people a play by play every move I make. However, from this experience, I have realized that at times, it is necessary. Sometimes, safety also plays a roll in that, and it goes along with healthy communication (which is something that I recognize that I also pride myself in).
These last three weeks have been very eye opening to me and have allowed me to see the areas in my life in which I would love to grow in. Earlier today, my team had a smaller group chat via google hangouts and the question was asked, “within the last three weeks that you’ve been home- what have you grown in/ what has the Lord been teaching you?” I didn’t have to think for very long before I knew my answer, but what I did have to do was speak, and from an honest place in my heart. That gets to be a raw spot. One that I struggle telling people because it’s not always roses. Also, I tend to share lots with people, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going deep with them. I give them lots of surface answers to please them, and I’m trying to work better at being raw- especially when I don’t have the desire to.
What most people may not grasp (unless you’ve experienced it first hand), is that the World Race is going to be a challenge (as it should be), but in ways that are uncomfortable. You are called to be vulnerable with your team, even when you don’t want to be (this applies to me when I’ve had a rough day with wrestling with my own junk- I don’t want to tell people what my thought process is). This is abandoning the comforts of your American lifestyle (food, bed, showers, clothing, and any material belongings you might have that bring you sentimental comforts– we have these things, but they look so much different- ie: bucket showers, sleeping pads and tents, foreign foods, and dressing yourself for 90 degree weather for probably a year.
The things that I want to do- keep to myself, continue living my average lifestyle that brings me a steady pay check, eat whatever I want and take warm showers with a western toilet in the bathroom is something that I am being called away from for a year. Don’t get me wrong- I am beyond excited to be able to go out of the country. I am super pumped about serving over seas for a year teaching English, being a listening ear, and really seeing things that are far beyond my own comprehension. I am pumped to be serving alongside 5 other amazing women who will pour into my soul and speak truth and wisdom in my life, to be able to see some amazing touristy things in each country, and to share God’s word, love, and encouragement to those that I encounter. But…
Sometimes it seems as if this really isn’t my life. As if I am living in a fantasy world, but after doing a google hang out with some of my squad tonight, things have become more realistic for me. It’s both crazy scary, and ultra exciting at the same time! 🙂 Thank you to those who have been fervently praying over my team and I. Thank you for all of your financial support- I have really appreciated it!! I am blessed beyond words! 🙂 I know these last few blogs have been kinda sad- like, but I will be posting more up beat ones to come! 🙂 No worries!! 🙂
With the donations that are pledged to come in I have REACHED THE $10,000 GOAL and then some! Praise Jesus!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 As long as they are posted by September 16th, I will be going to CAMBODIA with my team!!!! 🙂 Can I get a Whoop Whoop?! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I still have $5,500 left to go, and would love your help getting there! I would love to be fully funded by October 5th when I leave the country- can you imagine the stress associated with trying to fundraise in a third world country with perhaps limited WiFi? Yeah, I’d rather not think about such craziness either!
Would you consider donating for the things that the Lord wants to be teaching me while overseas, as well as seeing His vision carried out? There are 23 days before I head to Atlanta to join my team to be getting ready for Launch. Big things are going to happen this year and I’m so excited!!! Are you?
Please drop me a question, comment, or even prayer request- I do care about you guys and want to be continually praying over for the loved ones in my life. I do love each and every one of you guys, and am praying for the year ahead of you as well.
Thanks! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
~Mariah
