Closes you eyes. Sit in the silence. I want to paint this picture for you– You’re dressed and ready for the day, you grab your light fall jacket, you turn the door handle, you step outside the door, and you stand at the top of a stoop over looking the street in front of you. You inhale deeply and you can smell the crisp autumn air. A tiny smile creeps across your face as you continue down that street crunching in all of the leaves that have just fallen on the ground.
FALL.
This is my absolute favorite season of all time. OF ALL TIME! I am not the type to grab a… PSL.? Or wear leggings and boots with a maroon colored scarf, or even a flannel. I am the type that will grab a hoodie and a pair of tennis shoes and head out the door with a pony tail in. Why do I tell you this? My spirit- a part of me, somewhere inside recognizes the changing of the seasons, and I love it! My spirit awakens and gets super giddy- like a school girl who just had an attractive guy say that he likes her (cheesy- I know).
Typically at this point, I have finished with all of my summer plans and have gotten super one-track minded so that I can organize, and reorganize all of my school supplies. New pencils, note books, and folders (all color coded of course). And I would just stare at the neatly organized backpack in front of me in anticipation for what is to come- a new year. A time to be excited for future experiences, things to learn, and people to meet.
This year, I sit in front of my hiking backpack- that has already been packed (due to me having to move and adjust my life accordingly), and recognizing what the season in front of me looks like. Similar to starting a new academic year- I am anxious. Not because I think that things are going to be rough, but just that I am excited for them to start. I am happy, because one of my 14 year old dreams is becoming a reality. I am nervous- there are a lot of changes ahead that mean adjustments, and being uncomfortable (here’s to growing closer to the Lord). I am bummed- there are people that I need to say “see ya later to” and places, like Seattle that I feel the Lord is closing a door on.
As I move from Seattle and start saying my “see ya laters” I start to reflect on what my life has looked like over the last year and a half, and I can see the reason why I moved to Seattle. I have been laughing at the Lord in confusion a little bit lately- the one and basically only reason I moved to Seattle was because I had a larger faith-based community here. However, over time- that faith-based community has dwindled down, changed, and has fizzled out. I ponder in curiosity as to why that is, but in reality, the only thing I come up with is that Seattle was where I was supposed to be for a season. God allowed me to be here for a period of time, but did not want me being comfortable-that way I would be able to leave this season and attend full-heartedly to this next season of my life. I honestly don’t know why God does some of the things he does, or why he provides in the ways that he does, but I do know that he has a bigger plan for my life than what I do. He can see the future and He does know what is best for me. I do trust that. As a child of His, of course I ask the questions of why, I plead sometimes to know answers that are incomprehensible to me. In faith though, I decide to move forward in my life and thank Him for His goodness and try to continue to seek him out- even in the weird situations.
This is where I am at in my life currently. I got back from Training Camp, and a lot of things took time to sink in from what we were learning, and it wasn’t until the other day when things started clicking. I am trying to transition out of one apartment to the next in Seattle, to then leave for Minnesota for a week and then fly to Atlanta for the last few days of the month, and then move my life to foreign countries throughout the world. It is a lot to take in, it is and has been a crazy transition and honestly, it’s hard to believe that it is my life. I enjoy it and wouldn’t change it, but I definitely don’t want to miss out on opportunities because my mind is going a million miles an hour and I’m trying to multi-task.
I want to step outside. Smell that fall crisp air and enjoy the time that I have. I am currently in the season of change.
Please please please be praying that I stay in the present and not in the future. Pray that my mind adjusts from the thought of, “if I just get through this THEN… ” Life will not be better once I JUST get through anything. There are things to learn in the process and things that God does want me to hone in on in order to grow closer to Him.
Thank you for reading this!!! 🙂 <3
I am $1,364 away from my September 16th goal of $10,000!! Please join me in prayer that the Lord will put it on people’s hearts to donate to His kingdom work.
With Love,
~Mariah
