My immediate thoughts are.. “you want me to walk how far, in how many minutes, in what kind of humidity?!”
Yep- you read that right: We need to walk 3 miles in 50 minutes with all of our gear on our back, in the Georgia humidity! (Yes, I know I sound ridiculous right now, but if you knew me at all- you would know I’m less than excited to be doing physical activity in any heat/ humidity. I come from the Midwest- summers may get hot, but let’s be real, the snow/ winter season is twice as long as any heat wave that comes our way…) This is honestly the one thing that I’m super nervous about… I am definitely up for the challenge, but I have never been physically active in my entire life, and now my journey depends on me making a time limit by being active. Oofta- here we go!
On the other side of the spectrum (there usually is only two extremes for me-sorry future squad mates..#grace?) I am super excited- I am excited to meet my new squad and future roommates. I am excited to be able to worship with all of them- to be able to be joy-filled over the smallest of things that God has been doing in their lives, but also be sad with and for them when something tragic or bad happens. In return, I’m hopeful for a community that will stand by my side even in the ugliest of times. Future squad mates- I look forward to being with you in all of the life events that we will endure together- even the not-so-pretty moments.
I recently went on an adventure to Montana this last week and it honestly gave me a better idea of what type of person I am, and what my personality is like, and I’m not going to lie- I found a lot of ugly sore spots. I am a selfish human being- yes you read that correctly- I am selfish. Not that it is an excuse by any means, but being the baby of the family for 14 years, I was spoiled rotten, and knew it- I usually got what I wanted. I had the same mentality growing up into adulthood, but with a twist. If I wanted something- I had to work hard for it.. Or be resourceful enough to ask the right people the questions that lead me to my solution. Yes, this is the form of manipulation that I resided in. Knowing that about myself I have been able to catch a lot of my pitfalls. There are times that I sometimes don’t recognize when I’m doing it though- this last week was a huge awakening of that. My friend called me out on it and it really shocked me. I was not aware of how I was hurting her in the process. 🙁 God does give grace, and He has blessed that friendship, but it allowed me to analyze a lot of my motives on the trip, and what I found was… good intentions, but a lot of ugliness….
So- what do you do with that?
Honestly- I’m still figuring that out. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I think Training Camp is going to shed a lot of light on my life that I have hidden for so long. I think a lot of things that I have suppressed for years are going to start to come to my attention and I am going to have to process through all of it in the Ten days I have in Gainesville, Atlanta. That’s right- I will be in a God proclaimed atmosphere with hundreds of other teams worshiping the same God of the Universe and diving into our self worth (also being physically, and mentally challenged by good sermons, and hard-intense labor) for a full ten days. Cold bucket showers will be implemented- can you smell all of the good sweat yet? Did you get super grossed out? Yeah, me too- it will be awesome though! (No exaggeration)! 🙂
I am a broken individual who requires grace, love, and Jesus in order to survive, and I am super PUMPED for training camp, and the ability to meet those 40+ people that encompass my squad! Bring on the blood (maybe?), sweat (definitely), and tears (inevitable)– lets do this! 🙂
With all that being said- I still have my personal goal of reaching another $494 by training camp (in ….6 days!) Can you help me reach my goal? Any donation- whether small or large would be a tremendous help! I am grateful for people like you in my life that will encourage, love on, and challenge me to become the best person that I possibly can- so thank you for all of your help! 🙂
<3 Mariah! 🙂
