I want to share with any of you who may be reading this, who are either future racers, or just people back at home what life on the World Race actually is. I am going to be blunt, and totally honest with you. The race is not an extended vacation, glamorous, or always adventurous. It does have a lot of those moments in it, yes. But it also has become our normal, and can become mundane if you let it.
I will tell you that it is not just a way for you to get out and see the world. Yes, you do see parts of every country that you go to on days of adventure if you choose that. But for the most part, the day to day on the race looks a lot like, walks to the grocery store for toilet paper and snacks, talking with the local shop owners. It looks like squatties, that smell like decay and urine, covered in buzzing flies. Sleeping on the floor with cockroaches, geckos, and rats knowingly sharing the same space as you. It looks like deciding whether you want to be overheated because you’re in a non airconditioned hot room and need to decide between covering yourself with a sleeping liner to avoid being eaten alive by mosquitos, or to just take the bites to avoid getting no sleep from being in a sauna.
There are days when you will be asked to put on several different hats for ministry, and your answer is to be “yes” for it all, because this is what you signed up for. Some days on the race will be attempting to come up with lesson plans and teach college aged students English and Bible knowledge, while others you could become a painter, a pest control person, or simply a friend to a little kid. “Ministry” is not always those grand gestures that you may think of when you think of mission work overseas, or even at home. Ministry a lot of days on the race has been for my teammates. Ministry is not confined to a specific task that you are doing in a month. It has been our LIFE. It’s a constant. It isn’t just something we “turn on”, and it definitely hasn’t only been for the locals. We have DONE a lot of things out here. We have prayed for countless people, seen healings, painted schools and flats, spent time with so many kids, danced with and for them, taught English and bible studies, macheted grass, preached, seen people come to know Jesus, sat with and listened to sex workers, all the things… but the day to day, is what this has been about. Not just those grand gestures. It’s been dying to ourselves little by little every day out here. It isn’t about us..
God doesn’t care so much about what we have DONE. I’ll say that again… he isn’t concerned with the list of things that we can DO for him. He is concerned about the hearts of people and the way that we show love and represent him in every situation and place that we are in.
I, like I’ve said in previous blogs, came on the race feeling like I needed a checklist of accomplishments that I did for other people on the race, and while those things are good, that’s not what it’s about.
Life is not easy when you are around MASSIVE amounts of things and people that you know you can’t directly change their circumstances. It’s hard being out here, away from the freedom that we used to have, while at the same time dealing with guilt due to white privelage that is a very real thing. We, have lived in uncomfortable situations, being constantly surrounded by flies that land on your face and food. We have had to learn to find peace in constant uprooting of our homes every month. I have slept on bus station floors, dealt with sicknesses, diarrhea, weird skin diseases, showered in tad pole infested water, and eaten rice 3 times a day for months at a time. While living in vulnerable and raw community, you have to choose to love every day, in spite of differences and hurt rubbing up against other people’s hurt in really uncomfortable situations.
There is no real space for you to just “check out” and seek comforts that are readily available back at home, and thank GOD!
Because, you know, the thing is.. I realize that this is not something that is my every day normal. People all around the world in the places we have been to, live this way every day. They live in circumstances of extreme poverty in many cases, yet with the ability to stay joyful and hope for each day to be good. The focus is not on their image, socioeconomic status, or whether or not they want to eat sushi or Mexican. It is on their families, hospitality, and love for one another, in SPITE of their living situations.
I wouldn’t have wanted to experience anything more than what we have in the hard times. Those times on the race have really impacted me the most, and have changed my idea of comfort all together. I don’t WANT to be comfortable. I want to experience life, and see it through another’s eyes, and that’s only a LITTLE of what this race has been. Even though our circumstances have been far from living luxuriously, in hotels, with hot showers, air conditioning, variety in meals, and being able to do skills that we are comfortable with doing for others, I would not trade it for a second.
The race is HARD. It is tiring, emotionally and mentally, and sometimes physically. It drains you when you are dealing with hurts in your own life, while also being faced daily with the massive amount of lack and brokenness around the world. It’s hard seeing just how privelaged Americans are, and knowing that I am going back to a country that doesn’t know the meaning of community, or the amount of resources that we have and take for granted. It’s been hard having a mirror put in my face, to see how selfish we can be, and entitled I’ve been at times. I have had a lot of adventurous, cool, “instagram opps”, but for the majority of the race, it’s been tough moments of surrender to God, and letting go of preconceived notions, while stepping into the shoes of other human beings all over the world as humbly as possible, doing whatever is needed in every situation. The race is not a year long adventure trip for travel, so if that’s what you think it is, I would recommend reconsidering the race. It is a year long of saying yes when you don’t always feel like it. It’s, every day choosing to see through the attitude of Christ and giving yourself grace when you mess up. It’s dying to yourself and LISTENING more than you speak sometimes. It’s a year long of serving and being served by beautiful humans who show kindness with no hesitation even out of a lack. The race is hard, the race is beautiful, and it’s so so worth it.
