As I sit down to finally write this blog, I catch myself thinking, “honestly how could I possibly sum up the entire training camp into one blog?” Then I realize, there literally is no way to sum it all into words. Why?? Because of the fact that most of it felt completely super natural.
Training camp was simply the catalyst for what was taking place in my heart, and the work that God was doing in my heart for a long time. It simply pushed me, by showing me the work that he has been trying to do in my life for a while. He wanted to first rid me of the shame and the guilt of the life that I’ve lived, as well as the life that I had been subjected to for so long. HE is the reason that I am able to walk in true freedom. The undeniable truth that he loves me, and has such a huge purpose for me was something I just couldn’t deny when it was made so clear to me through the things that I went through with about 50 strangers that became family over the course of 10 days.
I honestly didn’t think it was possible to tackle hurts that had such deep roots in my heart, and pains on a level deeper than I ever have in my 23 years of life than I was able to with these people and God on such a raw level. We opened up with each other, the darkest and deepest parts of our hearts and our lives, some things I haven’t even spoken about with anyone before. All to connect us, and to show that even the parts of ourselves that we are the most ashamed of can be used as a tool to bring people true freedom and acceptance within themselves, from a community, and from our father.
I cried, I laughed until I was sore, I ate with my hands on the floor, tried crickets and a rotten egg, slept in tents, under the stars, and in a hammock. We worshipped, and pressed through dark parts of ourselves with each other on a spiritual level, and completely got transformed. I don’t feel like the same person that I was before leaving for training camp for the simple fact that I believe it when I tell people that God loves you. He showed me that there is acceptance for the parts of our hearts that are wounded, and just plain nasty. He spoke to me in crazy undeniable supernatural ways throughout the week that seemed completely unreal, and he gave me a family of 50 other beautiful human beings from all around the United States who share my desire to adventure to all ends of the earth for the simple purpose of loving like Jesus does.
I am beside myself with joy for the fact that I was able to receive this freedom, and am so ready to go out and continue this journey, walking side by side with my father, learning how to truly dance in the rain, embrace the pain because he is near to the broken hearted, and to grow into a woman so solidified in the knowledge that I am loved, that I can’t help but pour out on to the people I come in to contact with every day.
This is not a mission trip that I am about to embark on. This is a lifestyle. This is choosing to love even when it seems like the darkest of times are all around. It’s choosing to WALK in freedom because I know that I am a light to this world, and am delighted in by my heavenly father. It’s choosing to SEE those in need of this truth, and being a vessle for the source of true love to flow out through me like a river in the dry lands of the world, quenching it’s thirst for intimacy.
Love you all! I am still in need of about 6,000 dollars in order to be fully funded. Please consider donating to this to partner with me in walking out to love on those who need it in this world.
