For those who've never experienced it, farm life is exhausting! Working in the fields is a regular part of ministry this month (as I mentioned in my last blog) and it's not always a breeze (but we praise God EVERY TIME there IS one!). I actually really enjoy working with my hands, gettin' a little dirty, and sweating with purpose. And a side perk? It's a built in strength and cardio workout 🙂
Today, however, was pretty challenging. Wearing burgundy knee-high rain boots, a baggy 90's Nike track jacket, blue gloves, and a floppy charcoal gray sun hat, I was all set to go, game face on. We headed out at 8:30am and gathered all 1,053 bamboo posts that we, in previous days, had spent hours removing (we bet on how many poles we thought there were, and I won with a guess of 400, a mere 653 short. Clearly we had forgotten just how much work we had done out there!). With the 6 of us working together, loading them onto the truck by 5s took about an hour. The late-morning sunshine began to beat down on us and our body temperatures were rising. Time for a water break!
Our next task? Taking down irrigation hoses and the bamboo posts holding them up. Fun twist – the walkways were covered in brush, weeds, and prickly plants that give you a ton of painful slivers. I must say, my team rocked it out there! Jonathon used an old school weed-whacking tool to knock down the weeds in my path, I gathered and untangled the hose (above my head) and cut all the ties holding the bamboo up, and Corrinne took out all the bamboo poles and laid them in piles. My allergies acted up, as expected, and my ears became plugged, my nose got stuffy, and my eyes got itchy. My chest and face were covered with dirt and plant fibers, and my heartbeat was racing! Looking around, I saw that we were all red-faced, sweaty, and losing stamina. But THEN, we made it to the end of the row! VICTORY! Sort of.
As we dragged the hose out of the field, I felt extremely lightheaded. I needed water, and fast. We rested for a few minutes, but then proceeded to gather all the bamboo poles and carry them out of the field. This is when I realized I was overheating. By the time we grabbed the last poles, I was about to collapse. Moving to a shady place, I plopped down on the ground and started removing layers, taking as deep of breaths as I could – it's kind of hard to breathe with allergies! I kept drinking water, but I couldn't cool down. For the next 45 minutes, I was nauseous, hunching over to vomit. Nothing. Just the spit game. What the heck?! In that time, we wrapped up our morning with unloading the bamboo posts we had loaded earlier. I was officially checked out.
In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't throw up (I REALLY hate doing that), but I equally dislike feeling like I have to but can't. I think that's symbolic of how I feel many days on the Race. I don't enjoy having "the motions", but I REALLY don't like feeling like I have to "go" and not being able to. I don't like being lonely, but I can't stand needing alone time and not being able to have any. I don't like getting up early to workout in the morning, but I also hate when I feel crappy about my body later because I DIDN'T do it and it's too hot or there's no time to get a run in when I'm feeling up to it. I don't actually want to go home yet, but I'm not a fan of missing my loved ones and knowing I can't see them for 8 and 1/2 more months. I don't like how society defines beauty and subjects others to defilement because they do not match up, yet I can't stand wanting to feel pretty on the Race, and not being able to dress cute or have styled hair or be sweat-free (basically being beautiful by the world's standards).
Essentially, I'm a mess. We all are. The reality is that without the grace of God, I would be lost. Literally. My sinful human nature will always rub against the ways of the Lord, and I will continually have to repent for my suckyness. There will always be a contradiction in what I truly want (which is what God wants for me), and what my flesh wants (often times the opposite). As humans, we are difficult to satisfy. We don't want it one way, but we also don't want it the other. We just can't win if we don't surrender our lives and desires to the Lord! With the putting on of the new Adam (which I need to do EVERY day, sometimes, multiple times), we can delight in His will, which is perfect. This does not come without sacrifice, and it's not an easy ride. Some days on the Race, it's difficult to NOT praise God for taking me on this journey! I am incredibly blessed! But other days, I fight him constantly. "Lord, I don't want to farm today; I'm sore." "Lord, I'm tired of being sick. I just want to be home in a comfy bed." Lord, I miss my friends and family and community and Packer football." "Lord, I've been with my team 24-7. Can't I just have one day all by myself?!" "Lord, the heat is too much to bear." "Lord. MOSQUITOES? Seriously, why?"
In Romans, Paul writes so eloquently, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Romans 5:1-5). I find encouragement in knowing that even though the path is not promised to come without difficulty, the joy of the Lord and the grace He extends to those who follow Him, will sustain me and lift me up. May you be encouraged by this, as well my friends. Life with Christ is so much better than a part from Him. My prayer is that you would sit with Him more and seek His face. He is faithful. Always. Go with His Spirit.
Love, Mandy
P.S. I'd like to send a shout out to Darwin Derricks, Marvin Loppnow, Jim Loppnow, and Dick Witte, for all the hard work they put into their days on the farm (and a shout up to heaven to my Grandpa Lucht and Mr. Wieland for their work with the piggies). I admire your strength and perseverance in maintaining the land and livestock that God placed before you. I have a new appreciation for you, and all farmers (former, present, and future) after tasting of the difficulty of farm life. Y'all amaze me. I couldn't spend my life doing it, and I'm thankful I don't have to 🙂 Love you guys!
