Thailand was such an amazingly hard and exhausting month, but even more than those things it was beautiful and such a huge opportunity to learn more about myself and who God is calling me to be. It was a month to grow closer to him but to also grow closer to my team and my squad through opening up about things that maybe stretched my comfort zones and made me expand my vulnerability. It forced me to let walls down and let Gods truth bring down lies that the devil made so real to me for so long in my life. This month was one of the hardest months in every way, but it was one of the best months of my whole life.
I am striving to get to know God more on a deeper level. I am diving into scripture and dissecting scripture trying to obtain knowledge about all that Christ is putting on my heart. This last month I have gotten to dig deeper in the word and have focused on the commitment that I made to try to get the whole bible read over this 11 months. I don’t want to just read it though, I want to understand it, live it, and be an example of it. I want to be all that Christ is calling me to be and not just settle for what I always have or haven’t defined myself as. This month I have learned what it actually looks like to give everything to God, and let him keep it. It is definitely not something I am a professional at but I am growing in it. It’s so hard to be a strong and independent person and not be a fixer but I have to! I can’t change all the areas I need to grow in alone. I can’t make sure I am always on track and I definitely can’t lean on my own strength to get me through. I need Gods help and his hand to guide me in continuing to trust him in giving him my burdens and areas that need improvement and trusting he will direct me to the areas that He wants me to work on when they need to be worked on.
This month I have had a lot more one on one with God. Ministry was BUSY, praise the Lord! We had full days and late nights filled with team time, prayer walks, feed back sessions, worship, and a lot of praying!! The first week we did monk chat/ slum ministries. The whole experience of sitting down and talking to monks was very educational and helpful in informing us on the views of the monks and what they respect, believe and practice. There were many conversations with them about Christianity and I do believe God is at work in some of them. Just to have the opportunity to know how to pray for monks and know more about the lifestyle they live was unlike anything I’ve done before. Slum ministry was an opportunity to get to work with children in the local community and love on them. A chance to let them know they are important and they can have fun, bc a lot of children have to work in the night markets and in the bar areas selling things and trying to make money for their parents or whomever it is that makes them do this at night. We had the opportunity to let them be kids. We had the opportunity to give them time and them see that it was something we were choosing to do because they were worth it.
The second week we worked in the cafe/ house keeping. This was a great chance to see all the behind the scene things that go into what makes Zion. Pi Emmie was our contact and her love and attitude are contagious. She has such a huge passion for wanting to help the women stuck in the bar ministries and trafficking and show them that there is more to life than what they think or have been lead to believe. We got to hang out with the staff and help them learn english. They were so eager to learn how to say things in english it was exciting to be able to help them. Teaching them was also a way that they were able to see that we cared for them and in working with them they opened up more and became more open with emotions and welcoming in more of a friend way. It was beautiful to learn their hearts and to talk with them about what God is doing in their lives. When we weren’t working in the cafe we were house cleaning which helped out the staff as well since our squad has a whopping 54 people. It was a great way to show respect to Pi Emmie and to let her know how thankful we were for her having, lodging and feeding us.
The third week we had bar ministry. This week was hard for me at first. I had so many different emotions and didn’t want to go out and feel what Mandie feels. I wanted to go out and feel what God was leading me to feel. I wanted to go with his eyes to find and see the lost. I wanted to go with his hands and feet to do whatever was needed to make these women feel important, loved and worthy. I wanted to be a representation of God not a girl trying to “save” sex trafficking victims. I spent a lot of time in prayer about this but knew I was ready after one day when we were doing the morning prayer in the bar area. ( I will be posting that prayer/vision God share with me in my next blog) I went out with Josh and Katelyn and as we were walking down the bar strip this woman sought me out! I was like OK God Thanks for that! We played pool with her, bought her a drink and she opened up to me in so many areas of her life and I was so amazed at the door God was opening. We went back again another night and she remembered us! She had a huge smile on her face and you could tell she was genuinely happy we came back to see her. We talked a lot more and played more pool and exchanged information bc I wasn’t sure if it would be my last time seeing her. It was but God was so in charge of that situation. It was overflowing with great moments that were nothing short of God’s plan. She told one of us that she could tell we were good people. It touches my heart beyond words to know that I did exactly what God called me to Thailand to do. He asked me to GO, he asked me to be a vessel and to plant a seed. He asked me to be a part of the process and not focus on getting an amazing story for a blog post. Thats exactly what I did and He worked though me being obedient.
Pray for all of the ladies, John’s and children we had a chance to show love to this month and that someone else comes and continues Gods process with them. Pray for Thailand and Chiang Mai, because there are so many lost there but our God is bigger than that and He is a God of miracles and we know He has the power to change the darkness in Thailand. Pray that the light from us, the light that we gave to others and the ones who go after us doesn’t die, but continues to grow and change the hearts in Thailand. Pray for Pi Emmie and all she does with aim and the women in hard situations.
I will never forget anything from this month. I also wouldn’t change even the really hard things bc they are shaping me into who God is calling me to be. Without discomfort there is no growth. Without hard times there is no stretching and I want to be stretched and molded into who He wants me to be because thats far better than anything I could see or work towards for myself.
Thanks for all the prayer and support! Currently…Im teaching English to 1st grade- 6th grade students and loving it! Cambodia is HOT but God is Amazing! Its been a great 4 days and can’t wait to see everything he has in store for us! Keep my squad, team and squad leaders in your prayers! Love you all!
