I remember it like yesterday, being introduced to the World Race. It was a website, organization and a vision that immediately captured my attention and my hearts desire. I remember returning to the website daily for months and having to make myself get off and focus on reality. It got to the point where I would make myself not look at the website but once a week because I didn’t think I should be focusing on anything that was just my desire and not Gods desire for me. BUT I couldn’t stop. I started praying for God to take the desire away if it wasn’t of him but it only continued to grow stronger and more powerful to the point where I knew it was not only my desire but Gods too.
As I sit here a year and a half later I am 13 days from having to be in Atlanta Georgia for LAUNCH! People keep asking me “Are you nervous?”, “Aren’t you so excited?” and things like ” Man I would trade places with you in a heartbeat!” But honestly there are moments where I don’t even know how I feel about it. I am constantly telling people it is like I am on an emotional roller coaster. There are moments that I am crazy excited and I just want to be gone already! There are moments that I go through everything I have packed and go through a constant checklist bc I am worried that I may have forgotten something. There are moments when I think what the heck am I doing? Who signs up for this?? Then there are moments where all of a sudden out of nowhere I start crying and can’t tell you why or make it stop. BUT! The moments pass and I find myself back at “God I cannot wait to travel the world hand in hand with you with all my brothers and sisters you have given me.”
The truth is, I am not some amazing person. I am no better than anyone else reading this who maybe never got to go out into other parts of the world and be the hands and feet of our father. Honestly there are more moments when I don’t feel nearly qualified enough, nor do I even like who I am, but I KNOW that God wants me to go. There are times when I think it will be so hard and I don’t know if I will have the power to push through. Im terrified that I will not have the strength to get through the whole 11 months and want to come home early. I don’t want to rely on my strength I want to rely on Gods! I pray that I will wake up every morning with the mindset and drive to ask God ” Ok God how do you want to use me today? ” I want to have the discipline to blog regularly so all that have helped me get here, family and friends, or even those I have never met can see how God is working and how we all work together to carry out His will.
As the days approach and launch is literally right around the corner I ask that y’all pray for me and my squad. Help us not feel like we aren’t skilled enough to do whatever God puts before us. Pray that we all have good support and that we grow stronger and learn to go to Him for all that we are uneasy about. Pray for the families we will be coming in contact with. Pray for the individuals who may think they have no one and those who are lost. God will work in and through us in incredibly amazing ways and I ask you to pray for all of us in this. It is SO easy to just feel absolutely and completely overwhelmed right now, but I also know it is normal. This calling we have is not the “normal” thing to do and thats what makes it exciting and completely God! I honesty believe that if our dreams aren’t scary they aren’t big enough! Thank you all for all the support and prayer so far and I ask for y’all to also continue to follow my blogs. This is only the beginning of this journey and I hope that y’all stick with me through the end. God Bless.
