a great little nugget of truth from my devotion this morning..
"Jesus calms storms whether those storms rage outside the boat or inside our hearts. One way or another, he brings peace if we will only hear his words: "it is I." Life is full of circumstances that are terrifying at first glance and can consume us with worries about the future. Financial crises, health crises, spiritual dilemmas, emotional needs, and any other vision that threatens us in a storm cause us much stress. But here is the lesson learned by the disciples: What initially made them panic was the very person who brought them growth, faith, rest, and guidance."
i have been so saddened by the tornadoes in alabama, the flooding in tennessee, the still-present oil & dispersant in the gulf of mexico, the devastation and nuclear pollution in japan, the celebration of bin laden's death, and so much more. our world is cruel, and sometimes it makes me question god. i have to rest in the fact that he has a plan that far exceeds my comprehension or vision. through crisis and destruction, he will bring growth, faith, healing, and reliance on him. i don't understand it, but i don't have to.
a storm has been brewing in my own heart this week too. as i get closer to may 21 & the start of training camp, i get more anxious and overwhelmed with all i still need to do to prepare. faced with yet another move, i was feeling a little sorry for myself. rather than focusing on the amazing opportunity i'm preparing for & the growth it will bring, i was getting paralyzed by fear and anxiety. rather than thinking of the many people i will see & help on this journey– who have almost nothing– i was overwhelmed by the huge amount of "stuff" i had to pack away into boxes!! i'm still not turning it all over to god. i'm still carrying the burden of self-absorbed stress and worry. i'm still not settled in my heart because i'm not relying on god to take care of me. it's hard to face tasks and challenges, complete the process that is necessary, but keep the anxiety and stress at a distance. i can't sit back and expect god to pack my apartment up for me & have my bag for training camp sitting packed in the car for me on saturday morning, but i can ask that he flood me with his peace and help me keep the focus off of me!
