oh, how self-absorbed we are as humans. i've never thought of myself as being an egotistical person, actually i've always thought i had the opposite problem. yet, the more i get in touch with god, the more i realize how very flawed i am… and it's exciting, not depressing! i've been quite miserable for the majority of my short career life… and i finally realized the only person making me miserable was ME! i tried to play the blame game and focus on the injustices i had experienced; i tried to glorify myself for the difficult personalities i endured, and i constantly daydreamed about the day when i would be in the perfect job with the perfect coworkers. first of all, i realized that i've always played the victim and not taken enough responsibility for my part in things. yes, i've been wronged and mistreated at times, but in the past i've dwelled on that rather than attempting to be proactive and do my part in changing it. i let negativity set the tone for my work environment, which in turn set the tone for my life. i also didn't stop to think about the many ways i may have wronged & mistreated others myself.
secondly, i have come to terms with the fact that there will always be someone who annoys the living daylights out of me~ whether it's the person who slurps their coffee, taps their pen on their desk, or talks to me constantly as i try to actually get some work done. all of these little annoyances are constant tests from god– to see if i will be kind and compassionate to my brothers and sisters in christ– and i have failed this test many, many times. what's even more humbling is that i may in fact be the one who is testing someone else's patience each day (so sweet of my grandmother to remind me of this point tonight!)
after a dose of humility and a timely word on respecting authority, i realized that if i would make minor adjustments to my attitude i would be much happier & so would the people around me! it was like a giant lightbulb went off and showed me that i'm my own biggest problem most of the time. i know it may not seem like a huge revelation to you, but i feel like my willingness to receive this and put it into action was a great gift! i have really made an effort this week to have a positive, upbeat attitude throughout my daily tasks, and i can honestly say that when my day is done i'm happy and carefree. the less i stress about my work load, the less i get worked up over things, and the less i let negativity creep in, the more i enjoy my day! it's amazing how treating others with kindness and respect– no matter what– can change your entire spirit and mood. as i continue to grow & have these revelations, i get one step closer to being the woman god created me to be– kind, compassionate, and loving to ALL of his people. please be patient with me as i seek the truth and aim to be a better me! i challenge you to extend grace & show authentic kindness to the person who most annoys you~ see if you don't have a blessed day 🙂
