Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
A verse and song I sang and repeated nearly everyday last month, as part of our program we did for a children’s home in the mountains of Myanmar. Our whole month was focused around trusting in God. Each evening we had put together songs, skits, and stories from the Bible of how people trusted in the Lord. We talked about Noah trusting that the Lord would provide the rain for the ark. We talked about Moses trusting that God would lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into the promised land. We talked about Abraham trusting in the promises God had spoken over him and his descendants. We explored the miracles of Jesus and how the faith of people believed that just the utterance off his lips or the touching of the hem of his cloak would be enough for their lives to be changed forever. We even talked about How Jesus had to trust the Father through his crucifixion and resurrection.
And even though it was not my first or even 5th time hearing these stories, I honestly had a new excitement in my soul, As I realized the gumption and courage many had to have in order to trust in what God said was true. And even more to my excitement, the way the Father, in all his goodness and love, far exceeded their expectations.
As I was singing the trust song one evening, looking into the eyes of my sweet Burmese loves, I heard the Lord ask me if I really trusted him.
And the question took be aback a little bit. Of course I trust you. I left my family and friends and packed my life in a backpack to live out of for a year. I said yes to bringing kingdom with 49 other people…. people that 5 months ago, I didn’t even really know. I left my job and church people I care about. I’ve left all my comforts. Of course I trust you.
Do you trust me?
God, I’ve faced fears and relied on your strength to carry me through hard things. I’ve abandoned emotional comforts and I’ve let you In to parts of my heart that were hidden in the dark for a long time. I’ve said goodbye to people I didn’t want to and I’ve sat in a lot of brokenness I didn’t enjoy. Of course I trust you.
Do you trust me?
Then it hit me. I’ve actually been riding on the edge of trust. I confessed that I was actually scared out of my mind and I really do want to trust him, but gosh, sometimes it’s hard. I’ve been limiting the Father with how much I trust him with. You can have my past, you can sometimes have my now, but not knowing every detail of my future is just too much to release. Trusting him with my past is easy, it’s done, it’s over and taken care of. But when I think about the future, my mind races with every possible way I would like it to happen. As each month ends and we come closer to the end of the race, I have become anxious and sometimes fearful. I have no solid idea of what I will actually be doing after the race. I like to know. I like to have an idea of what will happen. The unknown is like this deep dark abyss that I can’t muster up enough courage to jump into. And when we dwell on the unknown, we take our eyes off Jesus and we lose focus on our now.
NOW.
A word that as a child would intimidate me. But a word that the Lord has been speaking over me.
NOW, Mallorie. NOW.
Except when he says it, I hear it with gentleness and anticipation of what WE get to do together.
“Now is your time, Beloved. Now is where we are at, and now is when you get to trust me.”
If we had it all figured out, we wouldn’t have faith. And in order to please God, we need to have faith. And I don’t know about you, but I want nothing more than for my life to be a broken purfume bottle poured over his feet; a sweet and pleasing aroma of faithfulness to my beloved.
The children’s home we partnered with while in Myanmar was a place for children in far off villages to come and stay so that they could go to school and get an education. They learn skills of how to cook, sew, personal hygiene, and they also learn about the gospel. They take these skills back to their villages and teach their people these skills as well as share the good news of Jesus. I Learned so much from the way they loved the Lord, loved each other, and the way they loved us as well. But I learned the most at how deeply and open handedly they trusted Abba.
At the end of our month, our last night of ministry, we asked if the kids trusted in the Lord and if they were willing to always trust the Lord. We asked if they would become disciples and missionaries, making even more disciples of all nations. They don’t have to wait until they ‘grow up’ and become adults. They can be disciples and missionaries of the Lord NOW. They can trust God with their life NOW.
With such joy and excitement, they yelled YES! Yes we trust The Lord. We trust him NOW and we will trust him tomorrow. And my heart exploded, because I knew their yes was real. I knew It was genuine.
“Trusting completely in me is going to require some gumption. It’s going to need some courage. But I promise beloved, in all my goodness and in all my love, I will far exceed your every dream, thought, and expectation. “
It’s time to jump into the abyss of the unknown. Because If we aren’t living on faith and trust, we are taking up too much space, and there’s no way we’ll avoid limiting God.
Do you trust Him?
Will you let him far exceed your own dreams and desires?
Will you explore with him into the NOW?
