I spent 10 days in Gainesville, Georgia getting to know my squad and preparing for next year. It was an amazing time getting to know these precious people, but what excites me the most was the freedom I experienced with God.
I was nervous going into training camp. Would I connect with anyone? Would it be overwhelming? And if I’m being honest, would I be enough? Could God actually use me on a trip like this? I have a confession to make. For so much of my life, and a lot recently, I have struggled with fear and anxiety of all kinds. Fear is paralyzing, and it was starting to paralyze me. At the root of all the fear was the ultimate fear that I could do something that would make God not love me anymore. That’s crazy, though, right? I know God loves me, I sing about how God loves me, and I tell others that God loves them. Despite that knowledge, at the end of the day my deepest fear was that he would stop loving me. At camp this last week I found out why: I wasn’t accepting him – all of him. The Holy Spirit has always seemed like a mysterious force that I didn’t what to do with, but John 14 says that he gives peace, dwells with me, and is my helper. I desperately wanted peace, I wanted to actually believe in my heart what I believed in my head. God is so gracious in allowing us to get to a point where we’re done – done with excuses, done with our old way of thinking, done with the doubts, done with the lies – and we come to him and say “I’m ready, I don’t know what to do but I trust you and I’m ready.” I had to tell myself the truth over and over, and declare truth, and pray truth over myself until I began to believe it. And you know what, the peace of the Holy Spirit poured in and I felt and knew his presence – his peace, his love, his acceptance. I learned that all I can every do is accept the love he has for me, he does the rest. He gives all of himself to us and all he wants for us to do is to accept him – all of him. He is so amazing, and I am so glad he kept (and keeps) pursuing me. He does the same for you too. He loves you more than you could know and he is always there to take you back. He made you to know and to be known by him, and let me tell you it’s worth it. It’s worth the fight. I know I am going to struggle with different things but I believe that God is going to bring me through. The victory is already won, and I will walk in that freedom. Do you want that freedom? He wants it for you.
Okay, so I’m sure you want to hear some more details about training camp….and some pictures!
The first half of training camp was focused on our individual growth. Adventures in Missions (AIM) concentrates on making disciples who can then go out and make disciples. The second half was getting more details about the Race, like what to do when we are asked to teach a class in India, or preach a sermon in Africa. At night we had different simulations to prepare us for situations that could happen. One of the nights my pack was “lost” by the airport so I did not have my tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, clothes…..nothing but my daypack and the clothes on my back. I had to accept help from one of my teammates, and it was such a bonding experience because we inherited another gal to our tent because she didn’t have a place to sleep either. We had 3 of us in a 2-person tent, but there was another tent that had 4 girls! Here are some pics:
This was our 3-mile hike we did with our packs. We had to complete it within 50 minutes……did it in 43 min!
Africa day! We ate with our hands and sat on the floor, it was awesome and super good food too!
Meet team Hesed! Hesed is Hebrew for loving-kindness. It’s the way God loves his people, and the way we want to love everyone who we encounter. These are the gals I will be serving alongside with for the next couple of months. More to come later!
Meet S Squad!! This is everyone that is going on my route next year. Training camp was only 10 days but I love these people already!
Closing thoughts: I know this was a long post, but it feels like I just scratched the surface. The Lord is at work and he desires for us to have an intimate relationship with him. I hope that this is an encouragement for you in whatever season of life you are in. He loves you. Tell yourself the truth. Accept the truth. If there is something you need prayer for, I would love to pray with you! I will be sharing more about what happened at training camp later, so stay tuned. Love you all!
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Malia
