I lost my voice.
Within the first 24 hours of being at training camp, my voice was gone. My initial thought was “Ok, I will spend Monday silent, like a voice fast, and it will be all good!” Well, after squeaking out the last few words I wanted to say Sunday night, I spent all of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday completely silent.
On Monday I started out ok with the fact that I lost my voice and I was ok with whispering all that I wanted to say. But then I learned that whispering was bad for my voice and I started to feel like a burden to my squad. They had to practically stop what they were doing to either listen to me whisper or read what I wrote to them. By Tuesday I was a wreck. I just wanted to go home.
But as time passed, I started to see the blessings of this silence. Dad was able to teach me a few necessary lessons that I would not have learned had I had a voice.
I need to be intentional. When I really think about what I am going to say and the words I want to use, I find that they mean more to others and to me. When I speak less, I am able to listen more and be intentional with not only my words, but my interactions with others as well.
I can worship without singing. The first night of worship without my voice was, in my mind, going to be really hard and make me pretty upset. But the first song we sang was
“My soul sings
My soul sings
My soul sings
How I love YOU"
How perfect was that? So I let my soul lead my worship, which is probably something I needed to do for a long time now.
Speak life. Our words have power and authority. We have the power to speak life or death. Dad showed me that I was speaking death when I spoke about myself and about other people. I did not realize until I was silent how much death I spoke. So I have decided to speak life.
What’s funny is that everything I learned is all biblical. So I knew all of this. But I wasn’t living any of this. I guess Dad figured this was the best way to teach me these vital lessons.
I know myself. I know that I will forget all that I learned and take my voice for granted. To keep that from happening…
I got a tattoo. Speak Life. It is facing me (upside down) so that I am the one who can see it every day. It is my reminder to speak life and not take my words for granted.
And one more thing! Meet my team! LIFE SPEAKERS!!!!
Top: Me, Jay, Jenn, Kent, Anika
Bottom: Karen, Taylor (Bug)
