One year ago today I would have never guessed that this is what the Lord had in store for me..
So to fill you in a little bit so that this will all make sense… Before joining the World Race I was a cheerleader at the University of Southern Mississippi. And exactly one year ago today I ruptured my achilles tendon while preparing for try outs, and was going in for surgery. No it was not an April fool joke! The number one question I asked from the moment it happened was “how long will it be until I can cheer again?” Well the answer was very unknown and uncertain… I got things like “well what does cheer again mean? like stand on the side lines? well it depends on the person how you heal. Well it depends on how well you take care of it. Or the average person heals in this time. Or the high impact you do may take longer.” All in all it was guesstimated that it would take me almost a year to be fully recovered meaning all things functioning like normal and high impact be comfortable again. On the inside I was completely shattered, but on the outside determination was all that you saw.
In the first steps of recovery there was very little I could do without help, and me being the independent/hardheaded person I am it almost killed me. But, I spent a lot of time alone and sitting still which really gave me time to seek God and share my heart with him. It also gave me time to perfect my online shopping skills 😉 haha! I knew that if I was going to spend this much time away from what I love and that was cheer and just being active, then I wanted to know what the Lord had for me in that time. So I began praying for his will in my healing. As bad as I wanted to be back I knew that I was better off in his will wherever that was rather than forcing myself to recover on my own. I asked that if it was his will for me to heal faster than normal that he would receive glory from it, but if it was his will for me to take the whole recovery time that I would find joy and that he would reveal to me what he had for me in that.
Praise Him!!! I was walking without a boot after two months, and I ran for the first time at two and a half months. I spent the rest of the summer still recovering, and began cheer and tumbling again in August which was approximately four months. Unfortunately in month five I injured my foot which was best guessed to be a small fracture and I sat out for yet another month, not completely out but half way in my mind was just as bad. In those moments I became frustrated with God and I was quick to tell him my heart but I was not ready to hear what he had for me. I kept getting the phrase “don’t you think God is trying to tell you something” from people which actually just turned me away from the idea of hearing what he had for me. After a month of taking care of that injury at my first game back tumbling… I broke me hand. Yes, you can laugh because I look back and laugh at myself. But, I was still able to perform in pregame and cheer the whole game with my pompom taped to my cast. Even though I still laugh about that night I was very discouraged on the inside, and at this point I was definitely not wanting to hear what God was trying to tell me.
Take a big jump forward to training camp for the World Race.
Mama K (one of the World Race coaches who so graciously came out to Thailand to help the Fusion 2 squad and new Fusion coaches) started off her talk with an example I was fairly familiar with and that was surgery. She asked us simple questions like “what do you do to have surgery?” Haha surprising enough, we were all stumped. Lots of us gave answers, but it was not what she was looking for. She finally gave us the answer, “nothing…. nothing, but show up.” Her second example I knew about all to well, tanning. I actually was the one she used to demonstrate what tanning looks like so I got up there and just laid there just like I do when I tan. Then she asks the same question “what do you do to get a tan?” and I actually had to think about it before I realized the answer was nothing. She explained a little more that it takes nothing but being in the sun. It’s the same with hearing the voice of God.
That night I learned that I don’t have to do anything to be in the presence of God or hear from him. I don’t have to spend hours reading my bible, hear a great sermon, or be in a worship service to hear from God. Yes, you can hear from God in all of those ways, but I don’t have to do any of those to enjoy his presence or hear his voice. I can just be still. And by be still I don’t mean be still but running through my to do list for the day. Be still and intentionally listen for his voice.
This was a completely foreign concept to me, and it honestly scared me because I hadn’t ever heard of this before. I also don’t want to just follow everything I hear, but I came on the World Race knowing God was calling me to be open to new things. So that night and next morning I asked the Lord to show me if this was of him.
That morning during quiet time I was intentional about trying this be still and listening prayer. I went and sat on the back side of the empty lake wrapped up in a jacket freezing because at 8:30am in Thailand it’s freezing. I started sitting up in a ball trying to stay warm, but when I closed my eyes and tried to focus all I could see was me demonstrating tanning. So a little frustrated because I was cold I opened my eyes sort of glaring up at God and the clouds caught my attention. They were in rows and they were slowly moving across the sky. In that moment I felt God say that He was slowly but steadily working in my life. So I immediately stretched out and assumed my tanning position. I wanted to hear more. I sat there still waiting to hear more, but all I felt was the warmth of the sun. It was right then and there that I felt God say be still in my presence. I began recalling my surgery and injuries from the past year and I knew he was revealing to me where He was trying to get me to be still over the past year.
Be still has been a tough lesson learned. It has also been a sweet lesson learned.
Grasping the concept of be still was a pivotal moment in my life. A moment that I will remember for the rest of my life, and will forever change how I live my life and my relationship with God.
Here I am one year out from surgery!!!!
I am fully recovered!
I am on an 11 month mission trip traveling to 11 different countries. (12 now)
The Lord has used my injury to change my life spiritually.
And I rock climbed a 75ft mountain barefooted yesterday.
