You should see my room. Seriously. It looks like a tornado, with a bomb strapped to its tail, has swept through and obliterated everything in its path.
The time for packing has come.
Training Camp is less than 10 days away, and yet while I’m ecstatic, it’s also been stressful trying to fit, cram, stuff, fold, and shove my life into a 65 liter backpack. And the thoughts racing through my head are, “how in the heck am I going to pack ALL of this for 11 months?!” And, “what about my books?? Who’s going to take care of them while I’m gone??” I literally almost sat down on the floor, in the fetal position, surrounded by my beloved possessions, and wept.
I come from a long line of hoarders. These things matter to me. I can hardly throw something away without feeling bad for it, like I’m hurting its feelings. My dad threw away some puzzles of mine and I was upset for days. So, you can imagine the torture I’ve been putting myself through the past couple of days, scouring through past Racers packing blogs, telling myself “I don’t need a sleeping bag. I’ll just bring my pretty dresses instead!” And don’t even get me started on leaving my friends and family!
Lord Jesus, help me.
And He sure did.
Tonight, weary, and feeling like I have to carry the world on my shoulders, I opened His Word to Luke 14, and my eyes were quickly drawn to this passage…
“Figure the Cost
25-27 One day when large groups of people were walking along with him, Jesus turned and told them, “Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one’s own self!—can’t be my disciple. Anyone who won’t shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can’t be my disciple…
33 “Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple.”
I sat there for a couple minutes trying to comprehend what I had just read. Leave EVERYTHING?!
And I heard, “Yes Maggie. For Me.”
I want to be a disciple, but it requires sacrifice. Sacrificing my comforts and familiar things for the sake of Jesus. Sacrificing clean hair and pretty dresses. I’m not trying to sound holier than thou, I just know that God has called me to this, and asked that I pick up my cross and carry it. And maybe if you’re like me, that means sacrificing material things for the greater good. To leave it all behind and follow Him.
“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39
