Welcome to El Shaddai!
This month was spent working in a clinic in the mornings. The afternoon was ‘buddy time.’ We were all paired off and were to help them with home work and hang out when we can. I also got to spend more time in a library this month. We helped organize the books so the kids knew where to look for them. I now have the dewey decimal system memorized.
I also got a new team! My team for Africa will be team HORIZON! Andrew, Simion, Victoria, Jessie, Jay, Banele, and Aubrey. Banele is part of the races Exposure Program. What it means is that he’s a fusion member for the three months were in Africa! I’ts been great getting to know him better. Jay is out Korean teammate (and one of my best friends <3) so if you can’t read her blog don’t be surprised.
My Team!: http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=participants&group=15W01FN
I learned that listening to God means a more active part on my account. It means I have to be open to how He wants to talk to me.
On my second day in the clinic I found out Aunty Julia sent a nurse, she was a translator. What does this mean? It means I’m the chief authority in the clinic. Ummmm I’m not in any way prepared for this. I haven’t even done a CPR class since high school. So I spent the first week being anxious and any time someone walked through the door I tensed. My constant thoughts were “God, I am unprepared. Its all on you.”
Most of my patients were headake cases (literally Thank God!) And I handed out some vitamins for most other stuff as their immune system could handle everything else that happened that month. Except one.
Within the first week, within the first few days a baby came who had rashes on his neck and stomach. I soon found out from his mom he ate a millipede. WHAT!? How does a baby eat one? He barely had teeth? Could hardly stand up to walk. Regardless I was happy it was this and not a centipede (more toxic). Either way I still don’t know HOW poisioness what he ate was. So I gave the mom a charcoal tablet and told her to put it in his food (didn’t know if it could be ground up in water, for future reference – it can). That and talcom power and a lot of prayer was the best I could do.
This is what really kicked off the anxiety and realizing I can’t do this. I don’t have the training and I’m expected to help every person that walks through the door.
I spent a lot of the next few days stressing and praying about the boy. I read the Bible a lot while at the clinic. One of the days I found a devotional given to me by a friend in China. It was mostly psalms to read. The first that hit me psalm 91. God needs to be my refuge. And if He is protecting me at all times. I’m good. Not even the Devil can stand against Him, tho he may try. With God between me and my fears I will always be safe.
The next one was psalm 27. “The Lord is my light and my salvation – so why should I be affraid? The Lord protects me from danger – so why should I tremble?” Psalm 27:1. This was literally God just confirming “Don’t worry. I’m in charge of all and its in my hands.” This is what I needed. And he knew it. I had admitted my fear. Now I must trust in my Father. Since then I was so much more at peace. I was less scared when people came in a needed help. I could always find something that would help.
I still prayed for the boy. I didn’t find out his name until later so I just refered to him as ‘Susans kid.’ Tho I know God doesn’t need a name to know who I’m talking about.
I found out a few days later he was doing worse. I was praying for God to heal this boy because I couldn’t. While I was intercessing for him I was reading Luke. I’ve been reading the gospels and just happened to be in chapter 11. Luke 11:9,11,13 “9 Keep on asking and you will be given what you ask for. 11 If children ask for a fish do you give them a snake instead? 13 How much more will your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
I was not looking for verses about my situation. I didn’t google verse about worry or Gods love. It was just what I happened to read. I honestly didn’t always buy in to when people said “God spoke to me.” And some times I still don’t. I think a lot of things can be coincidences. And maybe sometimes its God but I don’t believe they all are. I say this because I know people will read this and not believe it was God speaking to me. Knowing last year I might not have believed this was God speaking to me. So I don’t say this lightly that I believe this was from God. That He lead me to verses He knew I needed to hear. And made these verses in Luke stick out among all the verses that could have.
I spoke that night with my teammate Victoria. She also felt strongly that this is conformation from God that He would heal the boy. She referred me to that nights chapel verse Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight.”
I prayed that I would not try and google answers tonight. If God has it then it can wait until tomorrow. The next day I asked God to give me something that would help Susan’s kid if he wanted me to do anything. If He didn’t, then I had the harder part of just trusting Him. Of not trying to search of cures and treatments any more. Not because I don’t think these work and can be beneficial (this was not God saying we never need to go to a clinic ever again). But because He didn’t show me anything at that time. And because I prayed over it and asked Him to give it to me or tell me it was in His hands. I had to be content in trusting that God had this case. I couldn’t look through books or borrow more internet time from the host. God said He had it so I had to just sit back and trust Him.
I didn’t know how hard it could be to trust Him. To hear a child is getting sicker and still believe God will make Him better because He told me He’s got it. He’s told me that if a child asks for something would a father give them someting worse? No! But believing can be hard.
I’ve learned doubting in Him is a sin that’s never talked about. That anything against what he says is a sin. Doubting that He’ll take care of you. Fearing harm, fearing opinions, fearing death. These are all sins because its us saying “Dad, I know you created the universe. But I don’t think you can help me in this situation.”
This is what I’m learning this month. how to listen to God. And knowing that when I do I need to obey.
[Edit: put in paragraph form]
