“But love will not betray, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free. Be more like the man that you were made to be. There is a design, in alignment to cry of my heart to see the beauty of love as it was made to be.”
-Mumford and Sons
Sometimes I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I want to be deeper. I want to desire complete intimacy with Jesus. I do desire that. My freaking brain just can’t seem to get on the same page as my heart though. I want this life to count for something and I want to do big things with it. God takes as he sees fit. I don’t want the time to come for Him to take me home and I didn’t make an impact on the people around me. I don’t want it to count for nothing. To have people say, “She was a great and kind person.” Not that that is a bad thing. But I want people to think of something bigger, greater, and kinder than me: Jesus.
I want people to say Jesus did great things with that one. I want people to see that Kingdom came a whole lot more with me. Through Maggie, Jesus was unstoppable. I want people to remember my bold prayers. I want people to see light when all they feel is dark. I want my thoughts to match my words. I want my actions to show my beliefs. I want my hands to show the work we are called to put to action. I want my feet to show the path I walk, maybe a narrow one, but a steady and more than fulfilling one. I want my words to spread love and overflow with hope and encouragement. I want my life to bring Jesus and build the Kingdom he sees possible here. I’ve lost enough to know that you don’t always have time to say one last hey, to say the words that would turn their day around, or get one last “I love you” in. From the first part of my trip, I saw what a huge difference a little more love and attention can do to a whole community even in a short time. I saw three months of love and action take a community and a children’s home a little closer to Kingdom.
I don’t want to waste my time here on this Earth saying what’s expected, doing what’s accepted, or staying still and quiet to appease the crowd. I want to experience lives being changed. I want to say what needs to be heard. I want to say what is crucial so people get to heaven. I want to shine some light that gives people hope and strength and life. I want to love with urgency, not with haste. This life is so precious and the people in it are so special. Why waste your time in a box when there is this big, wide world out there God has given us to serve and love?
“Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste. As it keeps my heart and soul in its place. And I will love with urgency and not with haste.”
-Mumford and Sons
