Let’s start from the beginning. I was staying in Sheffield with Amanda, desperately trying to find a place to stay in Manchester and failing miserably. I decided to go straight to Liverpool instead and visit Manchester for an afternoon on the way back to Sheffield.
I arrived in Liverpool and was warmly welcomed by a house full of women. These five were absolutely lovely. They made incredible meals, gave me a soft comfy couch and a biking map as a guide! J (Thanks Lydia.) I was able to pick each one of their brains about their ministries in Liverpool and the religious climate in the area. I learned a lot about what their church is doing in the city, which is quite interesting. They go to the streets at night and give out warm drinks and meals to prostitutes as well as send church planters all over the world, impacting the local and the global.
My first day in Liverpool I decided to do the site seeing thing. I saw the Marina Museum with the model of the Titanic, the Beatles museum, the Liverpool FC stadium, and saw all the old buildings that are older than our country. I even watch USA play in the club where the Beatle’s first got their start. Quite historic of me, I dare say.
Selfie with the Beatles!!
The Titanic
The Cavern, where the Beatles got their start!
That night I got home and saw an email from my contact in York saying they wouldn’t be able to house me after all. My heart sank. What is going on Jesus??? That’s the second contact to fall through in the last week!!!
I was getting exhausted from all the travel and meeting new people and now having no clue what I was going to do. I felt drained. I had my thoughts of “silly little girl” all over again. I started asking God what He wanted from me; why did He bring me here? I felt like He’d been telling me over the previous days that it was time to rest with Him, but I thought I’d been doing it.
I went to bed with plans of going into the city, walking around the cathedrals and doing a little more exploring. Instead, when I woke up, as I was talking to God, He invited me on a date. He told me that He’d given me the space and the opportunity to sit with Him for a whole day…if I was willing to take it.
I did.
I spent the day in this lovely café, sipping coffee, eating cake and listening to the Lord. Part of the day that meant listening to sermons, part meant journaling what was going on my head and listening for His response, part meant just sitting and listening in general for whatever He had to say. I left feeling wonderful. It’s always great when you get to be romanced by the creator of the Universe, and I must say, He loves me a lot.
You would think that after such a fantastic day in His presence, the next day I would be floating on cloud nine in delight. I thought I would. But then He left me out in the rain. I mean literally, I waited 30 minutes in the rain at 5AM for a bus that never came. I was forced to take a taxi and when I arrived to Liverpool at 7:15 the rain had little desire to stop. I again sat with Him, still feeling confused about where to go next, trying to hear His voice, beginning to think He wanted me to go back to Norwich and seriously rest for a while.
I spent the day walking around in the rain, miserably cold, nose running, sneezing every 5 seconds and my feet aching. I walked an hour to a church outside of Manchester to attend this little IHOP meeting. It was great and God is good and He warmed my bones back up. But we exchanged some serious words along the way.
A castle I saw on my hour walk.
“God, why are you letting this happen? Don’t you care about me?”
I was frustrated at the physical conditions, but the root issue was my uncertainty in what was next. Before I actually found the church, I went too far and was convinced I was lost and stranded in a city I knew nothing about. I was just about to start balling when I thought about what Michael always says, “Madisson, is there anything you can do about it? Okay, let’s have fun.” Then I started laughing, there was nothing I could do about being lost, or being soaking wet, or having this awful runny nose or concerning where I would go next. All I could do was laugh and trust that God had something planned for me!
He did. He let me sit in my crap for a day, then He lined things up even in my ignorance. He shut the door to Norwich and opened a door to York. He told me to stop being so anxious and to remember that this was a time to trust. He’d romanced me for a full day and then when the first thing went wrong I got angry with Him. What kind of lover am I?
Ugh, Jesus help my unbelief and my lack of faith and trust!! I know you have this under control!
Sometimes trusting God means that even when everything is going wrong, even when you’ve just fallen in the woods and cut your hand on a branch, even when you feel like God is not answering, you say to Him, “I don’t understand and I don’t see the answer, but I trust You. I trust You.”
