Last Sunday I had the opportunity to share part of my testimony with my church, the reason why I feel led to missions and specifically to the World Race. In August I leave for 9 months on a trip called the world race gap year and I will be traveling to Albania, Philippines, and South Africa. I will be traveling with a squad of 50 other college students and once we arrive in each country we will split into teams of 8. Our mission on the field will vary but it could be anything from construction, preaching, working in orphanages, caring for sex trafficking victims, door to door ministry, whatever brings glory to God’s kingdom and spreads His word.
I would like to say my call to missions began in Puerto Rico, the summer after I graduated high school but I’m sure God says otherwise, Im sure he would say it began a lot sooner than that and has been using all different aspects of my life to prepare me for this call. But I changed in Puerto Rico. God changed me. As difficult and as that trip was, it was a really awesome experience. There were many things on that trip that moved me, just the way the kids loved on us ALL day, the ability to defeat a language barrier, and even the relationships our youth group experienced and strengthened during that time was amazing! For me the one part of the trip that hit me the hardest was visiting the nursing home. At that point in the summer, I knew I was going to come back and start taking nursing classes and already had gotten my nursing aide license. So to walk into that nursing home and compare those conditions to what I was use to was jaw dropping and heart breaking to say the least! I remember sitting in a room on a patients bed feeding her, she had 3 more roommates, and I remember sitting there and just thinking how awful these living conditions were. And now as I read back in my journals and read over my words, I can hear my heart breaking all over again and thats how I know now that God is never going to let me settle for anything easy. That next year as I began to take classes to start on my degree in nursing I started to discover that this was something that I could incorporate with my new found love i discovered in puerto rico. I was determined to somehow make missions and nursing a part of my life and make them work together to glorify God in the greatest way. But like many college students and young adults, I was overwhelmed with the stress of school, work and just life! but my passion for making missions some part of my life had never been questioned. But also just like a normal college student my planning skills were not wonderful. So instead of going on another summer mission trip like I wanted to, I was a camp counselor for a few weeks at a bible camp, which was its own blessing. But God still had a stirring in my heart for missions. So fast forward a year of studying more nursing classes and there was still an unsettling feeling in my heart. A feeling like I needed to do something, change something, just be somewhere different. If you would take my computer and go through my search history or look through my journals you would find several different trips that I’ve looked at and really wanted to go on but didn’t feel like it was the right time. I just really felt like I needed to finish school and take more classes, work more hours, pay off my student loans. But there was this ache in my heart for something more and it keep me feeling restless. You know when your reading a book, and come across a verse, or quote, or a chorus in a song and it just hits you like it has never before. Well thats what happened to me numerous times over the last year or so. And I couldn’t deny that God was trying to tell me something, He was trying to lead me somewhere. One of the first things that kinda hit me, happened at the Passion Conference. One night at passion, they had a late night worship service and talked about a group of people who lived in a place where worshiping God was not allowed. So these people would go out in the middle of night into a discrete place and meet up to read there bibles and worship God. And they asked us if any of us felt called to go out and help lead these people and if so to stand and we would pray for them. And i remember sitting there listening to all of this and wanting to stand up and be willing to be called to a mission like this. But I couldn’t stand, I wanted to but I couldn’t. I was just flooded with the thoughts of the reasons why I couldn’t do it. Another time was while I was reading the book Unstoppable, by Christine Caine and many of her lines stood out to me but a few stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider; (Here is the first): “When we choose to live a life that extends beyond ourselves and beyond today, we are showing coming generations that there is someone BIG and GRAND who is worth living our life for and giving our life for.” (second quote): “God has chosen you, Prepared you. Placed you. Now run into your exchange zone, hand outstretched and open; grasp every baton he brings your way. Discover that not only are you making a difference in the world but God is making a difference in you.” And its quotes like that, that just made me go back to my time in Puerto Rico and just think about how that short week changed my whole perspective. Not to long after that, in youth we were studying the Holy Spirit in Francis Chan book Forgotten God. This study especially inspired growth in my walk. In the beginning of the book, he asked the question “What idols are holding you back from following Gods call?” This is what I wrote: “Mainstream traditions; i feel like if I learn gods call for me and it is out of the ordinary or leads me somewhere unconventional, that people will judge my lifestyle. I’d I don’t finish college now and God calls me to go somewhere else what will my family and friends think? Will I have enough support or will I just have people questioning and judging my choices. Am I willing to put aside my dreams and hopes to devote my life to Gods call for me?” So I think at this point you can tell by that journal entry that I was feeling really led to something but super conflicted about it. It was right around that time that I got on the AIM website and looked up some trips, thats where I found the World Race Gap Year. At first, I thought it was amazing but there was a part of me that didn’t actually believe God would use me for 9 months across the country in this way… maybe 2-3 but 9 NO WAY! out of the question! I didn’t even apply at first, I just sent my email in to AIM and I remember praying this exact simple prayer, “Lord, use me. I’m all yours and I’m all in. Whatever you may have for me I’m ready. If this is your call for me send me. Im all in Lord Amen.” Okay now this is the crazy part, not even 5 mins later an AIM mobilizer called me about my interest in the trip and encouraged me to apply… and I have no idea if it was or not but I took that as a clear sign that I at least needed to apply for this trip. Anyways after a stressful application process and a very very long week in a half wait I got the call from AIM that I had been accepted. It has been 6 months ish since I’ve been accepted to the World Race and God has changed me in numerous ways and pushed me or more like shoved me out of my comfort zone already and I can not wait to see how God works in me in the next year.
When I got accepted to go on the World Race, I learned that EVERY “yes” requires a “no” to something else. So I began to make a list of those and I would like to share that list with you:
**When I got accepted to go on the World Race, i said no to….
NO’S
-Controlling my future plans
-Believing my dreams were better
-Doubting that God would provide
-Not fulling trusting in Gods will
-Finishing nursing school right now
-Living a comfortable life
**When I got accepted to go on the World Race, i said yes to…
YES’S
-The possibility of living in a tent for 9 months
-Leaving my friends and family
-Any new adventure thrown my way
-Trusting in the spirit 100% of the time
-Raising a LOT of money
-Sharing God’s precious word
-Accepting many different cultures and people
-God changing my WHOLE life
***And I can’t wait to add on to this list and share with you when I actually get back from my trip next May!!
