Shut up

                                                      SHUT UP!!!!  SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!

I get it, God- You can stop yelling at me now.

We're here in Vietnam… in a guesthouse, on a busy street with tons of shops, restaurants, and things to do.  Our guesthouse has beds (I have my own) with sheets, real towels for the bathroom, air conditioning, free wifi.  One of the restaurants down the street shows free movies 4 times a day.  There's a water park that only costs $4 to attend.  

Our ministry consists of a few hours worth of humanitarian efforts around the city.  In a place where sharing the gospel is illegal and often we are specifically told NOT to do it by our translators.  To supplement, we are supposed to be making friends with locals (whether they are university students we meet, our translators, or other people we strike up conversations with at the local coffee shop) and hanging out with them. 

Despite the luxury of how we are staying and the amount of choice I have to put into my ministry, I have gone through the last few weeks incredibly annoyed…. there are several reasons for this, but I think it comes down to this question I keep asking myself:
                                                                Is this what life will be like when I get home?

Even though I've been daydreaming about coming home all year, and thinking about how wonderful it'll be, now I'm starting to worry.  Will I become complacent surrounded by all the amenities I've ever wanted?  Will I choose to seek out opportunities to do more ministry than just going to church?  Will I be bold with sharing my faith?

So, yeah, I think this month God is yelling at me…
to look around and see how much like home this place is.
to stop focusing on my issues and to get out there into the busy streets and meet other people's needs.
to choose in, even when people around me aren't.
to say yes, even if it means sacrificing some of my wants.
to not miss one day in His plan for my time here.
to remember that He is always with me, no matter where I am in the world.

Thank you Jesus for loving me enough to give me this month, this month that's more like home to me than anywhere else.  I don't know if I'd be ready to go back to the States without this time here in Vietnam.  I am glad that I can recognize that life and how much of an experience you get out it is a choice now.  

Because, God,  when I get home, I want to be ready for whatever it is You have for me.  I'm sorry for all the days I've missed here in Vietnam out of selfishness or pride.  But mostly I'm sorry for all the years I let slip by back home.  I don't want to miss one more year, one more day, one more opportunity, or one more person in the plan You have for my life.

Oh, and God, I'm sorry I told You to shut up.  You know me better than I know myself.  Thanks for getting my attention.