I love to swim, and anyone who knows me well knows this. Thus, last month when we took Roma children to the beach, it was great fun with lots of sun, salt, and sand.
The first day we went I noticed large paddleboats with slides in the middle for rent. Of course, I wanted to rent one, or at least, try the slide out if someone else took one out. So, when I noticed the teenagers getting one of course I made friends and tagged along. Yes, I used my America card to get this privilege and am not ashamed.
We paddled our way out sitting about 100ish yards from the shore and it was time to dive in, again I love to swim so it made sense to dive. I’m out 100ish yards from the shore, the water should be really deep right…no.
Off the boat I went head first to smack the 3 feet deep 2nd shoreline as they call it. I came up out of the water unsure if I was okay or if I just broke my nose. Thankfully this 2nd shore was just sand so I managed to be alright with just minor scrapes down my face and a lite headache.
Overall, it all was quite comical, everyone got a good laugh out of it, and I was thankful to be okay. The day moved on and I tucked the humorous story into my memoir of World Race adventures; however, a week later God wasn’t finished with that story.
A morning during prayer, I sat frustrated I couldn’t think of any big dreams I really have or passions I really want to pursue after the Race. I could write down many things I enjoyed, but none seemed true to myself. I sat confused and questioning God, why He wasn’t awakening my heart to anything. I was trying to make progress in answering everyone’s question, “What are you doing after the race?” and I was coming up dry.
So annoyed, I got up went outside for some fresh air and there He reminded me of my face plummeting into the sand. He told me,
“MacKenzie, at the beginning of this journey you wouldn’t even step off the shore. You were afraid of my undertow, and scared even more of leaving the shore you made for yourself. Today you are out in the water with me and I am happy you are willingly to dive head first, but you are not out in the deep sea yet. The Sea has many shorelines once leaving the actual shore, and I have brought you to this one because there are still things to refine, renew, and restore before going deeper. So…I know you are looking forward to bringing light and joy into the deep, unknown, cold, dark sea, but we are not there yet. Let’s instead stand in the shallow shoreline and work through a few more things before making our way out there. I am with you, proud of you, and happy your face is okay.”
As the sunshine warmed my skin and I inhaled the fresh air, I sat giggling at His humor and then, slightly saddened.
I deeply desire to be out in the deep waters; even though, I feel so much peace in where He has me now. I know my identity in Christ is growing and I feel Him strengthen it with His word and His goodness, but there is a longing for more.
Sometimes we long we be somewhere we aren’t, or know sometime we shouldn’t know yet. We crave to plan for tomorrow instead of living in today. Sometimes we get so overly excited we dive head first into shallow water and then praise God it was just sand we collided with.
I don’t have plans for my future yet, and I am not sure what I am doing. However, God has told be to chill at this 2nd shoreline, if you call it, and let Him keep refining, renewing, and restoring my identity in Him.
I look forward to sharing with all of you what God-sized dreams He gives me on or after the Race, and in the meantime, I am just happy my nose isn’t broke!
Great is thy faithfulness Lamentations 2:23
