I write this with less than one week in Peru and a day after returning from Machu Picchu. I am so sad to see my time here coming to an end and am already grieving the goodbyes.
Peru has been a month of great struggle and discomfort emotionally, yet so sweet spiritually. The Lord has made it apparent there are walls I have up and things I have not fully dealt with. It was like I got here and four different things were upchucked into my lap; all being pretty messy, humbling, and unexpected.
Its irritating to think that you have already worked through things and then discover there is a whole different layer too it. I get there are many things to unpack from life and its good to let the Lord do so; however, this time around I find myself objecting….
I don’t want to let the walls down; I want to hide.
See being messy in front of strangers, isn’t appealing to me. I thought I would have time to build relationships and gradually open my heart. I was planning on letting people see me as worthy of being loved before they see me messy. I was planning on proving myself to them before failing. I was planning on being comfortable and in control…yet I guess that isn’t the World Race or how following Jesus works.
Six days ago I decided I was going to go to Machu Picchu: ancient Inca ruins in the Andes and one of the Seven Wonders of the World. It was a last minute decision and was a lot of travel to get there. Eight girls and myself took an hour flight to Cusco, 6 hour bus ride to our first hostel, 2 hour bus ride to our starting point, 3 hour hike to the base of Machu Picchu, 1 hour hike up Machu Picchu, 2 hour tour, 3 hour trek back to our starting point, 7 hour bus ride back to Cusco, and then 1 hour flight home to Lima, all in 48 hours.
The trip was well worth my time, and honestly… pretty smooth as well. On the first night we drove through the Andes watching the sun set behind snow capped mountains. It truly was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen and the Lord gently whispered to me “Awaken.” Tears began to flow from cheeks and I knew He was asking me to let Him back into those places of fear. I veered out the window of our van watching light disappear and stars emerge.
The next day we hiked to the base of Machu Picchu and it was awful. I hiked on cut rocks for 3 hours and then took lateral stairs up a mountain to Machu Picchu. It was hard and not my most favorite hike, but once there — magical.
My eyes saw the ruins and mountains and again I heard, “Awaken.” We toured the site and learned the history, and as we finished, off in the distant thunder began to roar. The mountains turned shades of blue and the smell of rain gathered in the air. Suddenly, there was lightening and it was raining. My heart burst with excitement and wonder as I watched the calm, kind mountains, be over taken by the storm. My heart found such peace, an in seconds I heard again, “Awaken.”
In 48 hours He told me the same command over and over. It was as if He was trying to get the point across.
See, I believe he was speaking into my fear and the walls I maintained. Calling me into truth and light. Bursting through the walls to let Christ’s light shine on me. Using this blessing of the World Race wisely. And, living within His presence.
He surrounded me by majestic mountains offering His peace and settling my heart. I walked down from Machu Picchu leaving behind the thistles of fear and doubt.
Awake daughter
Awake
I am Here
I am for you
I am with you
I love you and all my people.
I make a way for all of them to know me and be loved by me
I will not leave you
I will not forsake you
You are mine and I am yours
Now rest,
Rest in the sweet mountain air and in my everlasting peace
Rest in my calling of your name
Rest in my hands that hold you
For the air you breath is the air I give you
For The wind that sings is my presence
I am among you
Hear my words and declare my name
Believe my word and follow it
You are mine and I am yours
Awaken
Awaken….
“Awaken O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you”
Ephesians 4: 14
