Yes, it is a journey of traveling and learning new cultures and meeting new friends, but so much more it is a journey of seeking God and seeking identity and opening your eyes to who God is, who you are, and who the people around you are. I always think I know pretty much who I am until God puts me in a new and uncomfortable situation and I realize I don’t have my crap as together as I thought. I don’t have everything together. I don’t really know what I’m doing. Our ministry this month is door to door evangelism…we just roll up into a house and are supposed to start preaching the gospel. How do you even do that? Can I get to know a little about you first before I thrust you into what I believe and why I believe it and if you would be interested in learning a little about it and maybe even believing it too? So yeah, there are a lot of awkward silences as we struggle to know what to say to convey that we deeply care about these people and also bring the knowledge of Jesus into each place. It’s hard. And everyday it reminds me that I can’t do anything on my own. I am not enough. I don’t have the words to say. I can’t speak the language. I don’t know these people or what hurts are in their hearts. I don’t know what God is saying to them. I am not even in control of my next breath. I’m understanding in week 1 that I can’t do anything apart from Jesus and I desperately need His presence and guidance and His power or I am going to fall on my face. On the World Race you learn to rely on God to the point that you either sink or swim with the Holy Spirit….the Spirit is essential and we will not accomplish anything without Him.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5 “When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration for the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.”
A lot of people think that verse is Paul saying he isn’t eloquent or can’t speak well. But he delivers brilliant material all throughout the New Testament. I believe what he means is that apart from the Spirit we are powerless…no matter how good your speech is or how well you inform the crowd. And God can work through those of us who think we don’t have much to offer.
A lot of times we feel pressured to perform, that God is relying on us to bring something awesome and put together and super spiritual. But we don’t have the power to do that. We cannot save people. It is up to the Spirit to move hearts…and whether my words are eloquent or almost incomprehensible, the Spirit can work with whatever I have to give Him. All I need to do is offer up myself and not care how dumb I look in the process.
