Costa Rica Blog 1!
I was sitting outside today enjoying a morning off. I was reading, thinking, praying…
This month, our final month, is in Costa Rica. We’re living at called Glory Christian, an elementary and high school. The surrounding area is beautiful, actual built homes, paved streets, and tropical mountains. Plus, two of our neighbors happen to be some gorgeous horses.
As I sat at my little table outside, watching our neighbor, the horse, walk around; drink some water, it me reminded me of when my mother used to take me horse back riding as a young girl.
One specific memory, I’d forgotten about until today came to mind.
During my horseback riding excursions, I would go with a guide who knew the trails, my mom would wait back at the stables and I always had a friend with me.
The trails we would take were near steep ravines; we were pretty high up from the small river below.
On one of my rides, my horse decided that it wanted to eat… down the ravine. The problem was, if it were grazing without me on it, it could probably balance just fine. This time it couldn’t. It all happened pretty fast but I remember the horse loosing some sort of footing, and the two guides yelling at one another to pull him back up to the trail. The horse was also being stubborn which complicated things.
I was completely un –phased though, not in the least bit scared, and I didn’t panic an ounce. I don’t think I ever told my mom what happened, either.
In retrospect, that could of ended badly. The horse could of easily rolled, I would be of been smashed, probably multiple broken bones or, as morbid as this may be, dead at the bottom of the ravine.
All this perplexed me as I sat and remembered this, wondering why or rather, how I didn’t have an ounce of fear in me during those short but real life-endangering moments?
You see, fear of loss has been a reoccurring theme in my life for quite some time now. If I were that girl riding that horse today, I can’t say I would be so fearless.
A part of me wonders what happened between then and now, did the reality of life and the reality of real loss hit me so badly that I let it take hold?
I think so.
So I suppose that I am “in the process” of working those fears out. Over and over again, God keeps giving me 1 John 4:18 “Perfect love casts out all fear.” I have to be honest, I’m still learning what that means and how to live that way every day. I know it begins with a choice though, saying "Yes" to God's perfect love and letting Him do the rest.
