It’s routine now, saying “Goodbye.” Each month we pack up our bags, move on and move forward to the next season of the race. But this month, though it has been quite a difficult one, I can honestly say “Goodbye” will be the hardest yet.
I didn’t fall in love with the ministry.
I didn’t fall in love with the place we’re at.
I didn’t fall in love with the food, per se.
I’m not quite sure I liked a whole lot about this month EXCEPT the children I met here.
For security purposes, I am not legally allowed to release the names of these children. So I would at least like you to know these faces- their faces.
I have wiped tears and bottle-fed.
I have sung lullabies and prayed over them saying, “I told all the monsters to go away. You’re safe, go to sleep. Tita’s here and Jesus is with you. ”
I’ve disciplined them and said, “Stop. Listen to Tita Lynette. Listen to me.”
I’ve held them close and hugged them to me.
I’ve sang them songs like “You are my sunshine” and danced for them.
I’ve shared meals with them and asked them questions about their day.
I’ve said bedtime stories that started with “Once upon a time…”
I’ve given them medicine and put them on time out.
I’ve held their hand and picked them up from school.
I’ve done their laundry and dirty dishes.
I’ve let them climb, literally climb on me.
BUT THEY
They have brought me such joy.
They done my hair and painted my nails.
They’ve rubbed my back and picked up MY dishes.
They’ve had countless tickle fights and have me LAUGH so much.
They are the sassiest, most playful, sweetest, and sometimes difficult kids around.
They LOVE SO well.
They ask, “Tita, what’s wrong?” when clearly I’ve been crying.
They buy me gifts like body soap when they knew I was having a REALLY bad day.
They’ve woken me up in the morning, playing gently with my hair, saying “Tita Lynette.”
They’ve followed me around for hours on end- hugging, holding on to me- saying, “Tita, don’t go. Tita come with me.”
They have asked me to dance for them.
They have asked me to sing for them.
They have kindly reminded me to pray before eating.
They have stolen my heart and with them, I have fallen in love.
Last month in China, my dear friend and teammate, Dre, prophesied over me saying,
“You are a mother.”
And now, I believe it. As I’m writing this I have cried several times knowing the “goodbye” is inevitable. If this is not the heart of a mother aching for these children without one, I don’t know what is.
I have no desire to say bye and if I could ever come back to hold my girls close again, rub their back when they’re having a bad day and kiss them all goodnight before lights out, I would do it in a heartbeat.
These are the faces of children who said, to my teammate Alexzandra, for prayer at bedtime,
“Tita, pray for our families. Pray that they would find us and adopt us so we can LOVE them. Oh, and pray for those who don't know Jesus…"
These are the faces I could never forget.
** I apologize for the photos not being right side up. I have tried to figure out how to fix it but atlas, haven't.
